Y: for our A to Z Challenge, Y is for Yes!
Molly poses an interesting question of writing about “not what makes you feel sexy but what is sexy about you?”. As I read, I tried to think if I could answer this challenging question. And I was tempted to cheat and read some things that make me sexy from my husband to incorporate it into my answer – but her point was a self reflection and validation, not an external source.
I find that when I question what I view as sexy in others and then apply it to myself, I can answer yes to a lot of same traits.
What makes me sexy?
I am sexy – though I don’t always feel so.
I am self confident – and confidence is ridiculously sexy.
I am strong – I have been through things in my life that make me never doubt my ability physically, mentally, emotionally.
I am creative – a handy tool for sexy play.
I am independent – to bend me to another’s will is sight to behold but I don’t need it, I can handle myself and normally others.
My body is soft and curvy – such a wonderful feeling to sink into, and curves…mmm.
My body is resilient – I have given birth, had injuries, lost and gain weight and I am aware of my physical limitations.
My body is active – I engage in rough (and not rough) sex, wrestle, hike, do yoga, lift weights, and a host of other activities.
I am curious – this makes me get out of routines and comfort zones and explore in an adventurous way.
I am decisive – I tend to know what I want and what I’m willing to compromise quickly.
I am vocal – I will tell what my limits are, what my happiness is, what has made me upset or frustrated; I don’t expect anyone to be able to read my mind. Someone will know when I am orgasming or is touching me in the right way.
I am intelligent – and that is such a sexy trait to me.
I am an active listener – and being heard creates a connection that few other things do.
I am honest – trustworthiness is an important factor in connecting to another for me.
I am positive – if something isn’t okay I will do my best to communicate that in a proactive but positive way. Likewise, I am likely to go up to a stranger and compliment them. Negative attitudes are the opposite of sexy (which isn’t to say that I am always happy).
I am an active lover – I will not lie down and passively let someone be intimate with me; I will take a very active part in the process.
I have a sense of humor – and laughter is sexy.
I am kind – because being a bitch or cold right off the bat isn’t sexy (unless that’s what someone wants).
I let things go – I don’t hold grudges. I tell myself I can “get over it, or get bitter over it,” and why would I ever choose to get bitter? Big issues: I will remove myself from the situation, as I cannot get over everything, but I can choose to disengage.
Sex is my cure-all – having a partner who has a button that (when pushed) forgives, forgets arguments, releases anger, feels better when sad, and other such negativities is such a great feature; I wish I could find it on someone else. It’s sexy, and it lets a couple have a “time out” when needed to break any tension. The button is sex, by the way.
I am not these things because others view them as sexy. This is what I find turns me on and I also find it within myself; if given more time, I could add to this list, as I find many things sexy. In looking back, very few qualities are of a physical variety, and I truly do view physical as being a smaller part of the sexy puzzle.
I am not going to be everyone’s idea of sexy, not even close. I do not strive to change myself in such ways as to make everyone happy and no one could be desirable to all.
I am also aware of my faults and shortcomings (some days all too aware of them). But this post is about embracing what makes me sexy.