Nov 302015

I have not updated this the last week due to my computer being rebuilt and relying on a cell phone only. 

The Other Livvy joyously writes of one year of blogging, and truly celebrates the changes that have occurred the last year.

Rebel’s Notes also celebrates her ten year wedding anniversary. I love to read happy relationships that accept each other fully. I also like to read other people getting as giddy and silly as I sometimes do.

Happy Come Lucky writes about the language we use when discussing virginity and it’s brilliant. So many great lines to pull out and savor.

Esther Perel writes about when becoming a parent threatens a sex life. Such great advice.

 Posted by at 10:25 am
Nov 262015

I want a show with what you think is your best outfit with your sexiest stuff on underneath. You can make it a few video clips, but I want a full strip show and a pleasing once fully stripped. I want you in full view all the time, none of this laying back stuff.

A challenging request, as I don’t do a strip tease. Also, I get a bit shy, so no laying back and hiding myself while he watches me please myself…a challenge. How was I going to manage?

…perhaps with a bit of rebellion, as is my way at times.

I knew his request meant to wear a sexy outfit, like a dress. But he used the words “best outfit” and in my humble opinion life got no better than a soft flannel and pajama pants.

…Yep, that’ll do it.

Now, he was specific with “sexy stuff on underneath” so I went with a purple color theme with purple flannel and purple silk lingerie on underneath. And of course, to appease him despite my rebellion, I added his favorite stockings.

He loved the video and song choice (I had just heard it that day) though at first he argued over the clothing choice. When I pointed out his wording and my thought process, he said that he learned a lesson and it wouldn’t happen again. And just like I thought, he chuckled good-naturedly over it.

After all, I am a brat at times because he occasionally likes the antics.











His favorite parts are the flannel off the shoulder and a hip bump in tune to the music.

As for the pleasing part of the video, that’s for his eyes. I did keep on the stockings for him.

He did write to me in the middle of the night:

That video got me off so nicely! You did wonderful in that video, I cannot tell your nerves are going crazy. This video is smooth, sexy, and satisfying! I cannot wait for more from you, when you get more comfortable…I love you so much and I am so proud of your brave self and sending me these wonderful videos.

*All photos were taken from the video on pause. They are unedited.

Nov 232015

Yes, it’s been three years blogging now.

Three years ago I needed a creative outlet and a way to feel like I was part of a community – I found both in blogging about sex. It also brought me closer to my baby sister as we had a project to keep us communicating more consistently.

Thank goodness for this blog;  it has reaffirmed a support system and a confidence bolster that I needed through all the moving and transitions. In so many other situations that I felt lost in, I decided to start writing about something that I was passionate about. I also began organizing, exploring, and embracing what my sexuality meant to me.

Blogging – in reading others and their own offerings of supportive comments – has kicked all many insecurities completely away. I am confident in my sexuality and desires. Getting out and meeting other like minded people, which I don’t believe I would have done without blogging first, has helped this self-assurance.

While my marriage has always kicked ass, blogging has also improved it. We have another method in which to communicate and share thoughts and fantasies. I can read through our adventures, have chronicled our explorations, and been amazed at the results.

So thank you, for joining, encouraging, and supporting me (and my sister) through these three years.


 Posted by at 6:30 am
Nov 212015

1592We had an idea to record ourselves having sex. It was my second (and last) time doing this (curiosity is gone).

I was organizing some photos, and found this photo.

At the time, I took this with my phone, while laying in bed waiting for him to strap his phone to the bedpost.

Awhile ago, I posted a photo from the scene.

Sinful Sunday

Nov 202015

“So I just read your post…” Mimir began in a message. He had just read my writing on a conflict that my husband and I had on my playing with Mimir the first time. He didn’t like that my husband felt negative about anything. He went through all the concerns point by point in an articulated defense while taking full responsibility towards any negative feelings felt by my husband. He stressed his respect of my marriage and wanted to know what he needed to do on his part to clear up any further miscommunication.

I freaked the fuck out. Not going to lie. I full fledged panicked. A few factors occurred to create this high of panic:

  1. I was tired from lack of sleep and fighting subdrop from a scene Mimir and I had had just the previous night.
  2. My husband wasn’t home to help me with that subdrop.
  3. My husband hadn’t been home due to a lengthy separation and I was just more on edge in my day-to-day existence because of sappy-loving-missing him reasons that I hate experiencing as I feel they make me weak. (And because I know someone will think it: I scened with Mimir while my husband was gone with husband’s full knowledge and even urging.)
  4. I wrote about this fear prior to even posting the very first scene with Mimir, because of this scene with Mimir and the worry of how he would perceive my writing. I analyze a lot, I over think a lot, and sometimes I just like to immediately go to worst-case scenario.
    1. I was afraid if he read about any conflict that he wouldn’t want to play with me: “And then there’s my husband, who had no problem with me playing with this man, but had a problem with me doing a scene that night in general. I wrote up that issue. I plan on posting it. Will no one want to scene with me because I’ve shared the concerns I had with my partner? And yet, I feel that it is important to write up any conflicts with adding in a new play partner, because dammit, as a reader I don’t read about such issues; I read things like “it was a challenge that we overcame”. How did the conversation sound? How did it evolve and resolve itself? What were some concerns and hurdles? If I want to read that in others, I should write about the experience.” – Known Blogger
    2. A Dissolute Life had just recently written about someone not wanting to be in her life because of her being a blogger. She writes:“I’ve always known that my blog could be a deal breaker for someone, I just didn’t expect it to happen.  It’s scary even for me, but I’ve chosen to take the risk.  For any man who gets involved with me he’d have to be comfortable with the level of exposure that could come… I’ve thought about the impact of this space on my life for years.  On the one hand it has provided me with a rich playground of creativity and connection.  On the other, I risk losing important people if it’s ever revealed — by me or by anyone else.”A Dissolute Life

I replied to Mimir and wrote frantically    bothered him all day with messages and texts   reassured him as much as I could on all his concerns. Mimir also has a partner and mentioned that every one of us needs to be okay with our scening together. I spoke of my respect of his partner (she’s so sweet and overall awesome like him), and their relationship. I ended (did I even end?) that I would not have pursued a second scene if the conflicts were not resolved, and that part of the reason I waited to post anything is that I will not post a conflict that has not already been resolved between my husband and I. I also told him that I don’t have to post/make public any thing between him and I.

I then gave him a heads up on another conflict that occurred with the second scene, and offered for him to read any further subsequent conflicts that I would post that involved him, for his prior approval and to clear any misunderstandings before he read about it. (I was already writing up the scenes afterwards and sharing them with him with a question of if I could post.)

Additionally, I texted my husband to read our messages (we both have access everything in each other’s lives) and asked for his feedback. He eventually got back to me late that night and said that it seemed like everything had been discussed and cleared up, and to let Mimir know that he was fine with him.

I am afraid this may sever our brief time as play partners (not friends – I think we’re good enough friends to continue our friendship), and that would disappoint me because he is an amazing rigger/top. He really seems to get my moods and proceeds with the scene accordingly. I also trust him and was excited at the prospect of connecting and experiencing things with him.

 Posted by at 5:42 am
Nov 182015

It’s so challenging to write about an experience someone else has experienced as well; yes, I know they understand it’s from my perspective, but they may not be clear how the experience was felt by me. To put it out there in writing is a raw and unguarded feeling.

Last night, for example…

After our scene:

Me: “Don’t take this the wrong way, or offense, but that was hot.”

Mimir smiled. “You can take the experience any way you want. I’m okay with that.”

This morning, by text:

Me: Hey, do you want to read anything I’ve written or should I stop bothering with trifles such as writings?

Him: Yeah, I enjoyed reading your posts. I like knowing when new stuff is up

Me: Okay,  great…Can I run the idea by you on Fet?

Him: Sure!

Ten minutes later, on Fetlife…

Title: Influx of too much writing

(Background information of why I should name him now as a character, and a brief synopsis of the name I’ve chosen and why.)

(Apology of a rough draft unedited…a paragraph I am particularly nervous about sharing where I compare him to a lover complete with words like tasting, swallowing, inside of me, deeply penetrating.)

“Anyhow, still a bit nervous anytime I share, add to the exhaustion that very little sleep provides to a morning person up late, so any thoughts and/or feedback is not only appreciated but almost needed in my current frame of mind.”

4 hours later….

Him: … “another great blog post. You don’t have anything to be nervous about”

*End of message*

Let me tell you what those four hours meant to me: nerve wracking seconds ticking by for four hours.

I own that my emotions are mine,  and that we started texting far too early in the morning and he probably fell asleep. But I was anxious and nervous. That’s the problem with sharing your innermost thoughts and perspectives in writing.

In writing versus face to face:

Face to face I can read facial expressions/body language/voice intonations to gauge if it’s safe to forge ahead or withdraw the words. I can use facial expressions to decide if something needs to be explained  or clarified further.

In writing, it’s all out there in the open, solely my thoughts/feelings/perspectives for the other person to take them as they will.

It’s especially vulnerable to share it with someone who was there – who created that reaction in that scene, who may not have had the same experience nor appreciate such a perspective, may be shocked/surprised at my take on it.

Obviously I trust and feel comfortable with this man who is binding me. I understand that my head space at the time was clouded by exhaustion, a bit of sub drop, wanting his input/approval/understanding of what felt like a very exposed moment in sharing.

I am grateful he did respond, took the time to read and reassure me that everything was okay.

It’s just scary putting myself out there sometimes, laying it all out without a filter from the other person.

Maybe one day I’ll play with a writer and read their own perspective of a scene and we can both be stripped naked with our words together. The reassurance would be them shedding just as much light on how they viewed it. (Of course, I can already see the downside of reading a perspective so foreign to my own.)

 Posted by at 5:30 am
Nov 172015

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Photo courtesy of Charlie in the Pool

Welcome to Elust #76

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing,

relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #75? Start with the rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Sex and the post-birth vagina

Lonely Things

Just the two of us


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Tiny, shiny, bity snaps of steel…

I have fallen in and out of love with myself


~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

I had An Abortion

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and

the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Fiction

The End of the Run
Ladies Who Lunch
kink of the week: dirty panties
Brutal Nights
Because I Knew I Shouldn’t
Erotic Fiction: “Everything”
Look, Don’t Touch
As one night ends…
String Quartet
Unmasked: Part 1: The Gift
The Secret Rolls

Erotic Non-Fiction

The lick of love.
Tickle & Tease
Oral Sex, Don’t Forget Oral Hygiene – Whoops!
Feed my senses
Camming With A Foot Lover
Finding the Edges
Word power
The Mail Room
Doing It Herself

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

I Had An Abortion
The 7 Dimensions of Cock

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

When I Thought the Scene Was Done
Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2
The Joy of Fear
Talking About BDSM With Your Therapist
On Denial (and topping from the bottom)

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

I Did It My Way
Fuckin With Fuck Boys Part II
You don’t need my permission to fuck my lover

Writing About Writing

The Hunt for Adult/Sex Friendly Businesses


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Nov 162015

Sitting on the ground, surrounded by rope and still naked, I thanked Mimir for having me over.

He mentioned it was fun and said it was too bad my friend (who I mentioned may be coming with me) wasn’t able to make it. He then mentioned that maybe she would like to come over for rope sometime. “She likes more impact play, I believe,” I mentioned, starting to organize his rope around me.

“Well, if she ever wants, I have some things for that as well.”

Screeching halt to my warm and fuzzies. I swear it would have its own sound effect.

No man (I just recently did a knife/sensation scene with a female who rocks!) will scene with me except for Mimir. Maybe I don’t put myself out there, maybe people don’t like me, maybe I’m not one of the cool kids (these insecurities don’t last, I believe most people genuinely like me and want to associate with me). Maybe it’s because I’m married, and my husband has been said to be intimidating (he’s not, he’s a big teddy bear) or because they have so much respect for us.

No more warm and fuzzies.

“Did you just offer to beat my friend?” I teased, but still a bit taken aback.

With our other friends, I’ll ask for rope, bring my girl friend along if it’s event that I can, and she’ll get a scene and I’ll just be a rope practice bottom. Mimir and her just met, and I know he takes all people under his wing – as it were. But thus far, people playing with her seem to create a lack of me getting a scene.

I don’t let this stop me from persuading her to join me, I enjoy her company and feel that she needs to be pushed out and have fun – she always thanks me for this afterwards. I love to see her enjoying herself. And if Mimir wants to beat her, that is very kind of him to offer. I even mentioned it to her the next day and she expressed an interest in just needing impact in general.

It was a momentary insecurity that made my spacey thoughts grind to a halt and my overactive thoughts take back over. The timing of it sucked because it was soon after our scene. But I realized I have faith that just because he plays with her does not mean that I will be excluded like I’ve seen in the past with others.Wicked Wednesday

 Posted by at 5:28 am