Jan 312016

A Dissolute Life Means writes about seeing multiple men and poetically using a carousel analogy. I love how beautifully she writes this, how it doesn’t diminish her want of something more permanent but she is accepting of the fun as it comes along. Another of her posts that I love is how she leads with her sexuality and that it is okay for her to do so.

Michael, from D/s Life, writes about men marrying a slut, and I love his words. I love men like this.

Esther Perel writes about what happens in couples after someone cheats, where she follows up with some past clients and categorizing three primary reactions.

 Posted by at 6:49 am
Jan 282016

Being desired, feeling my body build in tension and release in nerves of pleasure, is an addiction to me, there is no doubt. It also gives me a sense of purpose.

I shave my legs, I trim my pubic hair, I care about what I look like naked.

I am not placed on a shelf, forgotten neglected body.

I am shown, touched, played with, cherished.

When taking care of myself, I like the purpose. I need to feel my body come alive.

 Posted by at 6:50 am
Jan 262016

Mimir called the scene just practice. Then watched and hit my limit with multiple orgasms. “I like to get someone to color right away. It tells me limits and that they will communicate those limits.” I shared my unedited write up of the scene. He was thoughtful enough to expand with his perspective:

So, I will clarify a few things since I wasn’t quite as distracted:

“his joyful smile and obvious pleasure at the denial of an orgasm”

yes my smile was joyful, but it wasn’t denial. Sunday had some denial in it, but only very briefly to let it build. Sat was the opposite of denial.

Sat after your first orgasm was “Ok now that you have had an orgasm, give me a second to set up some more ‘me learning about you’ experiments. The first one was definitely me trying to answer the question: how sensitive after the first one? That was why I went with vibration from afar as the test. Sat was all about the color experiment. THAT was why I was smirking, the experiments were me getting mine, as it were, afterwards, once I knew you had gotten your first one. You got the first one free because it was about making it happen for you. The others were only as feedback from experiments in what you liked and didn’t like, and what was the uncharted point that would show me where yellow was. Most of it was spent trying to understand if “please” meant, “please more” or “please less”, that is why I reminded you “Please isn’t a color” if you meant it as “please less!” which I currently do take as my indicator to back off some, and wait for more signals before resuming — if for no other reason than to let you catch your breath first. Clinical was a good word for Saturday. But not cold clinical, just curious clinical, studious clinical, and yes, a bit of mischievousness added in to keep it fun and lighthearted.

“And the wand unhurriedly slowed to a stop”
— not unhurriedly at all!

Yellow is usually my “this is getting a bit much” flag but Sat, yellow was the goal and had tints of red in it for me. I made every effort to stop there as quickly as possible BUT without making it a jarring stop for you. The second you said yellow the dial immediately started rotating back to full stop, though I can see how even a few extra milliseconds could have seemed longer to you.

I am beyond grateful that he shared his perspective – it’s unusual and just goes to show that my thoughts and perspectives are solely my own and may not be shared with another.

 Posted by at 4:15 am
Jan 232016
Sinful Sunday

Gearing up for photos has me searching through some old ones. I took this series last year and posted Chopsticks and Petals.

In the upcoming month,  I am going to be posting some past photos with some new editing, some of which is quite distorted as I play around and learn new editing techniques.

Welcome to the first Sinful Sunday past.

Jan 212016

Malin James Elust 78 Header Image
Photo courtesy of Malin James

Welcome to Elust #78

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #79? Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Balance of Light
Advent Calendar 2015 – Day 24

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Why Sex Fiction?
On using him

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Guest blog: ‘Quite Delightful’, James Deen and me
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Make-Up Sex
Wide Open
Believe in You
I am softly athletic
Making a Short Story Long

Erotic Fiction

First Kiss
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
A Spicey Christmas Eve Tale…..
The Annual Christmas Party
If Only He’d Said Yes…
Very Very Necessary
Holly and Ivy…
Frothy White Stuff
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
30 Minutes

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Stress Makes You Blind and Your Cum Orange
On Eating Ass
Confessions of an Ambivalent Masochist
Joyous Jizz


Ode To My Favorite Sex Toy

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Lady Fapping: The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee
Does Size Matter?
A Feminist’s Guide to Sexting with Cavemen

Erotic Non-Fiction

Having Angelic Sex With The Virgin Mary
New Lingerie


The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives
40. 41. One.
ELust Site Badge

Jan 202016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

*I repost almost daily on tumblr things that I find sexy or erotic. Here’s an example of one (rope, choking, and dominance, yum!)

And then there’s my own that turn me on, because I remember how it felt or what it does to me:


Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

[jwplayer mediaid=”4143″]

This doesn’t get started until about 40 seconds in. I heard this at a rope intensive. My favorite lyrics:

I feel you
Controlling my every move and what I say
Oh it’s such a crazy game
But still we play it
And you play it hard enough for me

I’m a masochist for you
I love all the pain you put me through
I’m a masochist for you
My heart and hands are tied for you – Niia “Libertine Hero”

And I know I’ve shared this one before, but still, so hot:

[jwplayer mediaid=”4145″]

Wicked Wednesday*For Wicked Wednesday, the prompt is porn. I use tumblr almost daily. One thing I’ve started recommended to friends who are shy about confessing their desire or fantasies to their partner is to both get/use tumblr, and then repost things that they may want or that turn them on. It’s a safe way to express what they find hot without having to verbalize. Their partner can see, and see again – which is also turning them on hopefully. It’s also a good way to have a conversation, asking what specifically do they find hot about the image.

When I use tumblr, I’ve also noticed the added benefit of discovering what I’m in the mood for: am I posting more sensual or more rough images? It’s what I’m in the mood for at that particular moment.

 Posted by at 6:53 am
Jan 192016

Analyze Your Sex-Life


1. What are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

I am open minded and adventurous. I have a willingness to learn and am always ready. I am verbal. My weakness is definitely a hand job – I quite suck at those.
2. As a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses?

Really it’s the same as above, we’re adventurous, open minded, willing to learn and incorporate new things, and make intimacy a priority. Our weakness is a different sexual drive – but that’s easily overcome.

3. How do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship?

In my marriage I have explicitly stated that I need it daily, and we make it happen. We also compliment each other, are specific in expressing what we find sexy in and what we desire from each other, communicate our fantasies, and approach our connection to each other as a daily priority.

In other relationship(s), I suppose consistent (though not daily) communication, and expressing excitement or desire to see one another.

4. How has your sex life changed in the last five years?

Five years ago I was in a long distance relationship with my husband (though not too far as it was just for training) and I would see him ocassional weekends. In between family obligations, we touched and kissed and fucked as much as possible to tide us over until the next time. 

That’s still the same right now, it seems, minus the weekends with longer separations and vaster distances. 

What’s different is that now we always incorporate some power or pain play into our sex, as I’m finding that I don’t orgasm without it quite the same. We have a definite power dynamic in our sex life, it’s subtle at times but always present, and natural. 

We also have tried polyamory and are currently in an open marriage. I have had two partners in the last five years besides my husband.

5. Has blogging helped your sex life? How?

I’ve written so much about this so many times, in a nutshell: blogging encourages me to read others and their journeys which creates more potential and adventures to pursue, it helps me analyze what makes me tick which helps my lover, it’s created a more open mindedness and honesty towards my sexuality.

Bonus:  Has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to “fall in love”?

No, not at all. This is more likely to happen to my husband. For me, I fall in lust pretty regularly, though I don’t pursue it as much as I feel it. I am more likely to use sex as a bandaid to stave off loneliness, and feel myself approaching that urge pretty strongly recently.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

 Posted by at 10:11 am
Jan 182016

“I love you, I just want you to know that,” he told me, a lopsided grin on his face.

My first clue I probably wouldn’t like him soon. Just so he was aware beforehand, in case I changed my mind, I responded, “I love you too.”

And then commenced the rope tying. My legs were tied tightly, with the ankle to the thigh on each leg. He spread my legs as far apart as he could, and strung rope from the right spread knee around the bottom post, up to my stomach, rested it freely and shifted back down the left post and left knee. The rope in the middle puzzled me. Then my wrists were bound together above my head. Reaching out of my sight, he came back with the nipple clamps. He rested the cold chain between my legs for just a second, moved it up to one nipple, slowly to increase the anticipation of the bite, and then strung the chain through the rope on my stomach before attaching the other nipple. The chain between the rope at my stomach kept the tension on the clamps pulled at my nipples (as if the bite of them wasn’t enough sensation).

“Put your legs together,” he commanded.

I did, cautiously, tentatively, and as my knees swiveled up to be together, the rope down the center of my stomach tightened. I only stirred about halfway up, realized how badly the clamps were now pulling at my nipples.

“Clever,” I whispered, parted my legs.

He chuckled. “Now to get some movement from you,” he said, and slapped between my lips. My legs instinctively went up to shield my stinging sex, but didn’t quite make it all the way, as the aching pull on my nipples overrode before they could fully shut. But the sudden movement of my legs sent a sharp bite into my nipples that then felt like it traveled like electricity to my throbbing sex. He chuckled again, and then slapped more lightly, gradually worked me up to the sting and pain that again had me instinctively attempting to close my legs. About halfway up my knees would jerk, and then slam down as quickly as I could to relieve the nipple torment that I inflicted on myself.

He fingered me, appeased me with words and pleasure. And then chuckled again as he pulled out the wand. I groaned and tried to mentally brace myself to keep my legs spread. He at least started it on low, and gradually worked his way to the highest setting, but still, my legs would tense and rotate up about halfway, and then tentatively lower.

It was a mental will versus a physical one. As a battle, it was pretty damned equal on both sides.

I couldn’t arch to relieve the nipple wrenching, my bound wrists wouldn’t allow that.

“All done,” he soothed after he deemed I had enough. He untied the rope around the posts, tugged at it every so often and pulled the clamps before removing them. My nipples suddenly seared with tenderness when released, and while the bite of them was painful at times, now they felt like tiny pinpricks of torment that I fixated on. His mouth and tongue flicked across one, and then other, gossamer touches that soothed and pooled pleasure between my legs.

When I stopped whimpering, he positioned himself up and pushed his stiff cock in my mouth. I opened as much as I could, and he slowly eased himself to the back of my throat. I relaxed and he was able to push further than he normally does without me making noise.

“Oh really?” he sounded pleasantly surprised above me, and his hand caressed the side of my face. “So proud.” If I had more room, I would have smiled around his shaft. He pumped himself in and out of my mouth for a while, and then withdrew. “That deserves a reward. What do you want?”

I beamed. “I don’t know,” my brain felt a bit foggy, and I’m sure I wanted something. “You.”

“You’ll get me,” he promised, “but what do you want?” I thought, unsuccessfully. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you time to think,” and he was back in my mouth, hitting my throat.

After a few more minutes, when he withdrew, I asked for oral sex. He lifted up my hips and placed a pillow under them, and I felt his tongue dive between my soaked folds, his mouth sucked at my lips. It was but a brief moment before I climaxed against his mouth.

He positioned himself on his knees and entered me, slid deeply in with no resistance. “I love these ropes,” he said as he gripped the rope still wrapped around my legs, keeping them tightly bound. He used them to pull me against his hips as he thrusted in, and I couldn’t arch or use them to moderate how deeply he went. And he went deep, hitting the wall inside my body from time to time.

He leaned forward after I orgasmed a few times, and whispered, “I don’t think I’m going to cum in this hole. I think I want a different hole,” he tapped my mouth.

I nodded. This was new. He untied my legs and I stretched them in the brief moment before he straddled my head, wove his fingers into my hair and situated himself at my mouth. He pushed against my throat roughly, and began the pace of fucking my mouth. He wasn’t kidding around, he moved at a tempo that gets him off. He moved to the side of my head and tried a different position, eased even further and I choked.

“Stop,” he demanded, a hand going lightly to my neck. “I don’t care, deal with it, I’m cumming this way.” He kept at the pace, didn’t stop or slow down even when I choked once, then two more times. My mouth was simply a hole he was fucking. I heard him groan, felt his shaft swell and harden even further, and felt so humbled, so grateful, so proud that I didn’t have to stop him so he could please himself in this way.

After he came, he stroked the side of my face, brushed back tears, told me how beautiful I was as he untied my wrists. He fingered me to a slow orgasm. Before he could cuddle me into his chest, I requested a washcloth as I felt the drool puddled on one cheek and hair. He brought me back a warm washcloth and helped clean my face. He held me tightly against his body and we checked in with how the other was feeling.

When my body relaxed to the point of semi-consciousness, he carried me into the shower and we washed my hair, where he also brought me to another couple of gentle orgasms.

It was amazing; sometimes there are no words to express it any more eloquently than that.

 Posted by at 6:38 am