Nov 292016

After I had sex in front of strange men and then left to clean up, I came back to the porn room in the swinger’s club and talked with some female friends sitting and chatting with David as he cleaned and sanitized the room. They expressed they were sad they missed the show we obviously gave, then mentioned how they had tried the sybian in the next room, inquired if I had tried the machine. I was already overcome with shyness and not talking much by this point, not to mention that was I was very tired from the day’s events, so didn’t do much more than shake my head. When I expressed that I had not but I was curious to try, David took my hand and steered me towards that room.

Yes, I was tired, and incredibly shy, but I was so very curious, and really my curiosity almost always wins.

He went to the front desk and got the “box of cocks” for the machine, and the front lady sat in the room and explained things about the machine before leaving the room. I picked what she said was a favorite dildo for many, and then David took the control. I asked him to shut the door, as I had a feeling he would have preferred it open to give an audience a show again.

He shut the door and told me to get fully naked. As I was undressing, he played with the controls and figured out how the machine worked. I slipped a condom over the dildo and straddled the machine, leaning forward the way the lady advised.

David started very slowly and I didn’t really get a lot out of it. At about fifty percent power, it felt good, but I had just had multiple orgasms, so a lot felt good. On stronger, it did give me an orgasm, but again – that was only because I had just multipled. The machine on its own would not give me my first orgasm, as it vibrates more than penetrates, and I prefer thrusting.

Once I stated I was done, David announced he was going to try a smaller attachment. I was super excited that he was going to try it too. While I removed my attachment and cleaned it, David undressed and then used a lot of lube and a condom. It took him a minute to get comfortable with it being inserted anally. I sat in a chair with the controls, watching his magnificent bottom and thighs tense and move as he adjusted himself. Once he was ready, I started slow, the same way he did. I noticed he liked the insertable moving more than the vibrations so focused on that power for a bit, paying close attention to his magnificent body language and his noises.

He told me to come around towards the front of him when the power was about at fifty percent. I took his erect cock in my mouth and used suction until he was at the back of my throat, stroking what was left of his shaft with my hand. He moaned, and I turned up the power and then set the control down next to me, using my other hand to caress his testicles as my tongue, lips, and hand stroked the rest of him. Every so often I would turn up the power until he was eventually at full power. His hand went to the back of my head and he grunted for me to keep it up and drain him dry. My fingertips felt the tension in his balls, the throbbing in my hand, his powerful release hitting the back of my throat so hard my tongue didn’t even have a chance to taste it. He held me there as long as his orgasm lasted, making the hottest sounds of satisfaction above my head.

I made sure I did truly suck him dry and then slowly dialed back all the power. I expressed how hot I found that.

I love when a man orgasms, when he finds his release with me in some regard, when he verbalizes and his body shows just how good it feels. It’s been my limited experience that men tend to orgasm so much harder with anal stimulation as well. And while anally stimulating men is not a fetish of mine, I absolutely adore being witness to a hard orgasm.

Nov 272016

Masturbation Monday badge - smallWhen David steered me into a room without a door, in a swinger’s club, with porn playing on a big screen, I was grateful that we were the only ones in the room.

I told him, as he pulled me onto his lap on a couch, that I didn’t have public sex, and he told me to tell him when to stop. We kissed, my shirt came off, then my bra. His shirt came off, exposing his muscular chest and arms. I kicked off my shoes.

Up until this point, this wasn’t new to me – being nearly naked in public. Heck, I’d been fully naked twice in public but they were with my ex husband and it was involving toys in rope.

David yanked on my hair and rotated us to lay me down on the seat, stripped me out of my pants and underwear. There are a few, rare times in my life when I no longer give a fuck about limits (that doesn’t mean I’m unsafe in pushing those limits). Those that care about me worry because they view it as vulnerable, and perhaps I am. Twice this year now I have pushed past my own comforts and limits – once when I did slutfest and a weekend with my husband after my husband left me, and that night in the swinger’s club (so far, but I’m still mourning, so we’ll see what else I get up to). It makes me feel alive when I am otherwise numb trying to cope. When he hesitated at my pants and looked down at me to see if I was okay, I knew we were going to have sex right there in the room. I was surprisingly okay with that.

He fingered me, and I briefly hoped that there was no one in the doorway. At least my head was more towards the doorway and my spread legs were facing a wall. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap where I was facing the doorway, I shut my eyes so I wouldn’t know if we had an audience and he continued to finger me, nibbling on my shoulders, neck, rotating me slightly to bite on my nipples. I arched into his teeth, I moaned and shuddered around his fingers. Now I fully exposed to the view of others, something he intentionally did, but I was focused on the pleasure he created rather than a potential audience.

He ordered me to lay down doggy style on the seat of the couch, and I bent my elbows to brace them on the seat which buried my head against the back bottom of the seat – so no one could see my face and I couldn’t see theirs. He put on a condom and began fucking me at a vigorous pace.

dsc_7442Have I mentioned that David is a military man at his prime and is in amazing shape? There is no part of him that is soft and the hardest part of him was rubbed and built up an orgasm; I welcomed the release of tension that seemed to be consuming me. Of course, once I orgasm once, the others just begin to flood my senses – and I am by no means quiet. He would smack my ass and thighs occasionally as he fucked me, and he yanked my head up by my hair, forced it to the other side. Briefly I peaked and saw the outlines of people in the room with us; I shut my eyes tightly, but orgasms are glorious things and before I could be mortified I was being carried on the wave of another one. He stuck a thumb in my back hole and used the pressure to increase the intensity of my orgasms. We switched positions quite a few more times.

I was sweaty and had no idea how he kept up an almost maddening tempo. When he finally found his own fulfillment and withdrew out of me to hold me tenderly, I was grateful he shielded my face away from the doorway and towards his chest.

And then I heard the men complimenting us. I’m sure I blushed as David thanked them politely. He sounded almost proud, and he should have been – he gave them one hell of a show.


*When I came in from cleaning myself up, some female friends of ours were sitting and chatting with David as he cleaned and sanitized the room. They mentioned how they had tried the sybian in the next room, expressed they were sad they missed the show we obviously gave, and inquired if I had tried it. I was already overcome with shyness and not talking much, so didn’t do much more than shake my head. When I expressed that I had not but I was curious, David took my hand and steered me towards that room. 

Guess the night still wasn’t done….

Nov 262016
Sinful Sunday

It’s been one month since my baby sister, A, died. She had always joked that she wanted to be buried in a glorious mausoleum but she knew that she would end up in a shanty shack. Taking her joke, her husband and I painted a birdhouse her favorite colors of hot pink and black, pinstriped it, decorated it with butterflies and pink flowers (her favorite things), and spread her ashes on a mountain side in the dawn’s pink tones. I grieve so terribly and hold onto the sound of her laughter so tightly. Thank you, dear readers, for sticking with me during this time.img_3238

Nov 252016

Photo courtesy of Miss Scarlet Writes

Welcome to Elust 88

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #89 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Heart stabbing

Redemption: The Sex Goddess Project



~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

An Open Letter To That Cunnilingus Post

I Found Myself Over His Knee



~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 1

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Fiction

The Haunting of Iris Day
MERMAID??? Wicked Wednesday #229
Fear, Scents and Sounds
Lady Amore
love is love
Her Struggle
The New Principal

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Evolving Landscapes
Trust in Me
15 BEST Things About Giving Blowjobs!
With a rebel yell
What lie do you need to hear so we can Fuck?

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Brush
Tasked with asking for what I need
How Old Is Too Old For Wild Lovemaking?
Brass In Pocket
An Unstated Predicament
California Cuisine
Krystal’s First Pegging


Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

That Adult Bookstore Just Outside Town
Creature of the night
MISTRESS IN A DRESS – or out of it
Come Here. I want to Taste You
Terror of the cane! How to make caning sexy

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

11 Signs You Might Be a Side Guy


Writing About Writing

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 1


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Nov 222016

Wicked Wednesday*So the transitions, divorce, dating, moving, new job finally took me down for the first time ever in my life. My lines reveal will be completely different from the past, and what I’ve tried to accomplish this year. And even my accomplishments may be incomplete (though I didn’t get many bragging rights these months either).


Most revealing Post: A summary of my summer: purple hair, skinny dipping, pool sex, Mr. Texas, The Wanderer, new friends, reconciling with my husband (and failing). – This Summer

:Favorite Photo 


Favorite Post: 

“So with my husband and I reconciling, one of the first things on his list was anal play for him. He hadn’t experienced it in months and I think that he was even made to feel that it was viewed negatively in some regard.

He missed it… we were going to try pegging again.

Actually, it was a scene that I was giving him with pegging so he laid down tied in the center of the bed” – Pegging Again 

No one can accuse me of quitting easily. This was a beautiful scene is which finally, after so many years of trying, my husband and I were successful at pegging. I loved this moment.

1IMG_2251Favorite Photo: Every single time I look at this photo, or any of the photos from the suite that The Wanderer and I turned into a playroom for three glorious days, I smile. We truly used almost every space of every room, with the exception of the bar, I believe. There were a lot of firsts, and it was one of the most concentrated times I had had with him up to this point.
Accomplishments: Sinful Sunday’s weekly roundup featuring Rope Social


Most Revealing Post: 

“It was a weak moment, just that: a moment, and one that I am healing from – both physically and emotionally.

I hope these marks do eventually fade; after all, my thighs have been scarred before with sharpened steel when I used to sword fight and after time they faded into nothingness.

But if they stay, they will not remind me of loss, nor sadness, nor a pathetic action. They will remind me that I have loved, that I can heal, and that I am strong. They will remind me that I can move forward. They will serve as evidence that my perspective can change, and that hope is a powerful emotion – and frankly there’s nothing wrong with that.” – Bloody Review 

This was the month of truly letting go of my marriage: our many attempts at reconciling failed, he never truly wanted to be with me again though he did love me and I was finally tired of the back and forth of his decisions, our divorce legally was completed, and I made him a character page because the story of him ended here on this space (though for April’s A-Z Challenge I may write of our reconciliation since I have not). I also began the sometimes painful process of letting go of the resentment, bitterness, anger, towards more of a neutral ground to learn and move away from. In this post, I let go of how I viewed my scars, and in another in October, I shifted through the terrible emotions related to anal sex.

img_2927Favorite Photo: Mr. Texas: by this point I had been dating him off and on for six months. And the majority of the days I was his house. His backyard is absolutely gorgeous (these pictures don’t do it justice). Our thing is to go into the hot tub in the evenings, and when kids aren’t around, I’ve been bent over those stairs quite a bit, not to mention that I was at low part of his fence very visible to anyone walking by on a hiking trail having sex with him.
Accomplishments: Learning from Men, Wicked Wednesday


Most Revealing Post: 

“And I can get incredibly wet.

While this may be viewed as a good thing, the truth of the matter is that it’s simply not. Slippery when wet means that we both lose traction.” – Slippery When Wet

Why I’m a size queen, and why sex with me isn’t wonderful for many (not that anyone has ever said anything but positive – but why would they be mean?). Yep, I’m just going to be honest, at least in my opinion.

iphone 244Most Revealing Photo: This was a Tribute to my sister, and on how I missed her and couldn’t visit her, but that her health was in poor condition. She died the month of October. We began this blog together and she was far more than a sister – she was a great friend of mine. I am still reeling from losing her in my life.
Accomplishments: Congratulations to my friend Atargatis, for Riding the Wave, on Wicked Wednesday!

Nov 222016

1. How often do you sext?

I don’t think that I have since my ex husband and I separated again. So apparently it’s not something I do often, and a bit dependent on who I am texting.
2. How many dick pics have you sent in the last 3 months? 6 months? Year?

I have not sent any (considering I don’t have the equipment), I have taken a few, however. Okay, maybe more than a few. Okay, maybe a lot of photos. 
3. Do you prefer to send pics of your boobs or your vajayjay (aka pussy, in case you didn’t know)?

Unquestionably boobs
4. Do you prefer to receive pics of boobs or a woman’s genitals?

I haven’t really received either, but I think I would prefer boobs.
5. Dick pics, do you really think they are sexy?

Some can be, overwhelmingly though they are just the same standard bad photos in general. I especially dislike the ones in the bathroom.
6. Do you send unsolicited pics of your genitals?

Heck no I do not, I barely sent pics when they were ordered by my ex husband when we had that power dynamic.
7. Are you more impressed and willing to get to know, meet-up with, date, or have sex with someone who presents a “good dick pic” or “nice tits” pic?

No, I’m not. However, I will compliment a well done photo.
Bonus: Just how sexy are you?

Right now I don’t feel the slightest bit sexy. It’s something I have the power to change but for some reason I’m very unmotivated. I normally love to work out in the winter. Right now all I want is food and sleep. Even sex and beatings are beginning to lose their appeal (which is shocking).

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Nov 202016

After seeing the body of my sister, I was desperate to be held, to be fucked, to forget for at least moments the day’s events. I texted a friend, David, who was moving away from the area, inquiring if he was still in town. He replied he was until the following day.

Me: Come fuck me

Me after another minute: Or drink with me

Him: Sounds fun

The issue is that he was moving stuff into a truck until later that night. Hours after that text, my friends came by and kidnapped me to give me a break from being around the sadness. (I love my friends in this town, and I don’t have close to that support system in my hometown; I’m sorry I moved away.)

They presented the event they were taking me to (an hour away) as a kink event. A lot of our friends were performing at a public club geared towards a Halloween theme. I questioned if I needed to be vetted, they stated it was public, I questioned the kink friendly atmosphere versus just letting kinky people come in to perform. Honestly, they answered as well as they could, having never been there.

I texted David and told him I was now an hour away and going to this event. I invited him to join when or if he could, but told him I understood if he didn’t want – he had had a long day. He stated that he would try to make it.

My friends and I arrived, and it ended up being a swinger’s club. It was my first time walking into one; I was impressed with how the rooms were set up, some of them a bit geared towards some kinks like a spanking bench. Their main room was impressive, more like a club atmosphere with tables and booths set up around the edges and next to the kitchen. In what would be the dance floor, that’s where the performances were.

Two of my friends performed a rope and whipping scene where she was “killed” in the end. It was hard to see the whip marks gracing her body in the dimmer light (of course I saw them later when I was talking to her) but it was such an excellent show.

David texted that he was there in between the shows, so I met him at the front counter, since I claimed he was my boyfriend for cheaper pricing. We walked back to the booths where he held me and kissed on my neck in between socializing.

Four of my friends performed next and it was a dramatic rope suspension scene set to religious themes with candle wax being dripped as well. Again, I was so impressed with my friends, and grateful that so far I knew everyone performing and had a large group of friends to sit with as audience as well.

Next up were two friends who performed a crazy doctor patient scene – this scene had a lot of humor. She was wheeled out in a wheelchair wearing a straitjacket and he put a large locking case over her head – just looking at it made it feel claustrophobic. He took various medical instruments to her, even spreading her out and using a speculum. The show ended with the song dick in a box, in which he hilariously dropped his pants and sure enough, his member was covered with similar looking locking case.

I was grateful for the performances, as I was enthralled by all the performances, and even found myself laughing – something I desperately needed after such a long few days. I was also so proud of my friends and how well they performed. I was passed around and cuddled with a few friends as we watched the shows – have I mentioned enough how much I miss these people? There’s something that I found in this area that I’m just not finding in my new state.

When our friends were done performing, a beautiful woman friend pulled me into one of the bedrooms and we changed the sheets, and then cuddled on the bed with David, with various other friends rotating in and out of our cuddle pile that averaged six people. Even one of the club’s members joined in, not knowing our close knit kinky group; he was very respectful in requesting to participate.

Eventually we had to give up the bed, but being close to friends and so supported, knowing I could talk about my sister if I wanted to (I didn’t) but sharing in stories and laughter was very therapeutic to me.

After our cuddle pile, I headed to the dance floor and danced with a few of my friends. As David made his rounds to the people and eventually joined me on the dance floor, I told him I was tired and ready for us to leave.

So we said our goodbyes in the main room and headed down the hallways. He suddenly veered me into a room without a door where porn was playing the whole night.

I guessed we weren’t leaving quite yet

Nov 182016

I received a text last night from a friend and former lover. It wasn’t positive.

Taking a step back: he had texted me last week about finding a new sexual partner during his vacation, and they had had the STIs discussion. He thought I would have been proud of him, as that is a talk that I stress in my own life. I was proud of him for talking, but apparently the talk was brief (and worthless in my opinion).

A week later she had texted him asking if he had come inside of her, to which he replied he did, and on several occasions. I’m unclear why days later this would concern her. But she responded negatively towards this admittance.

He texted that he was nervous, that he felt that during the STI talk that he was thorough enough to dispel any concerns.

Maybe for STIs, from  him. But how does he know that she is clear of any? I require my partners to be tested, to show me that test. I want to go into an intimate situation clearly informed. Him telling her that he is clear, that he’s been tested, doesn’t protect him.

And the idiot (don’t worry, I still love the idiot) didn’t even consider pregnancy it seems. STI talks are not pregnancy talks, though they can easily segment into them (which apparently they didn’t). He didn’t even think to ask about birth control. She didn’t even think to ask for him to wear a condom.

I think condoms are a must to such an extent that it has to be negotiated out of the equation, not into it.

He’s beating himself up over this, and I think he should, because I’m mean like that. Hopefully he’ll learn from the experience, and hopefully without long term consequences. But I don’t think he’s entirely to blame.

Women cannot be so passive as to place all the blame solely on their partner. They are just as responsible for their sexual well-being. I told him that “she can’t shift all the blame to him, unless she told him to pull out. She allowed sex without a condom as much as he did. She’s as much to blame as he is, and if she’s not adult enough to own up to it, then he shouldn’t be doing adult activities with her anyhow.”

I had a few follow up questions like: “is she on birth control?” and “how did you guys negotiate the no condoms?”. This really should have been a part of their talk beforehand, but maybe he’ll remember them for next time.

Women aren’t the only ones, however. I cannot begin to count how many men have told me, when a partner gets pregnant, “but she said that she was on birth control,” or “but she said she couldn’t get pregnant,”. While men have far less options to avoid pregnancy than women, they can always put a condom on. No matter how much they trust their partner, if they don’t want to have a child, they can take precautions to avoid it.

I am aware that my own viewpoint of sex and sex talks will be different than other people’s. That having these talks aren’t going to cover everything, like non-monogamy, condoms breaking, cheating, and other scenarios (though, seriously, I discuss issues like that as well). I may be a bit fanatical in my discussions and suck all the romance out of it.

But I am in charge of my sexuality, of my body. I am. No one else.

And it pisses me off when I see people of any gender pointing the finger at someone else if they consented to the activities. They need to own up to what they allowed, what they liked, what they consented to, what happened. It’s not a blame game.

 Posted by at 7:59 am