Apr 012017
 

*For the month of April, I am going to purge my drafts of my off-and-on reconciliation attempts with my ex-husband last year. They are still painful, and will be incredibly rough drafts, as I am literally purging emotions and some bittersweet memories. I may also mix in some current stuff just to give myself a break, or to reflect where I am now.
** The following was written two weeks after he requested the divorce.

He’s rewriting history.

“I didn’t choose her over you, I chose the area, my career, being close to my family”

I guess he’s conveniently forgotten when I showed up to his doorstep with high-paying job interviews lined up ready to move in with his family for a couple of months until we could get our own place in the area.

Good thing I wrote down things (which granted is going to be bias), because he’s completely rewriting history.

He told me, as I traveled back to our home to gather our things and questioned how I was to packed everything, that I should spread my legs to get moving help. Then he criticized my slutfest and said I was disgusting.

And then he was upset that I won’t sleep with him this weekend and telling me that he’ll help if I have sex with him. It is our stuff that he is talking about, while mostly mine, I packed up anything that had meaning to him, that was sentimental, things he didn’t even ask for (because the only thing he asked for was rope making materials).

“Throw it away, I don’t want it,” he told me when I requested about pictures.

He’s throwing out the truth to deflect his own actions. I hope that I do not the same just to make myself feel better –  how easy it is to rewrite history.

***He told me that first quote repeatedly the 7 months we were on and off in reconciliation attempts. A few of those attempts I was willing to even move back up to his area and walk away from the safety (and small support) of my hometown again.  

  2 Responses to “A- Back to the Beginning of Misery: Writing history”

  1. I can imagine how reading this and posting it brings up all the pain again, but also how it can help you to leave it behind you and move forward after you have posted it.

    Rebel xox

  2. I hope that April really is cathartic for you. What a strong person you are to have dealt with 2016’s shitstorm with the honesty you didm

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