Sep 222016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

The one that immediately came to mind is the one that I’ve already written about:

“And then the music in the room played Taylor Swift’s song, “Shake it off”. My eyes opened and I looked at the scene before me, the people around me. No one seemed to be smiling or concerned that such an upbeat song was playing in the background. So I tried to ignore it.

As my lover kneeled in front of me, I found myself bobbing my head to the refrain. I couldn’t help myself, it’s so catchy.”Shake It Off

Dancing, being a brat, and having my ex husband fight to remain serious (he couldn’t do it) was so much fun. Others laughed about it as well. And then the wrestling while tied up in rope and hanging upside down was also pretty humorous to me:

“Are you choking me?” he asked incredulous.

“No, it’s just a hug…around your neck,” I corrected him, and felt the last of my energy waning. He laughed.”

Sis A always has some fail sex stories that I chuckle at, for instance when she role played (something she doesn’t do) a school girl:

“He came over to take me in his arms and I made some coy remark about “Oh Mr. So-and-So! What are you doing!?” because it was his fantasy and he was breaking the rules.

It was bad… The only thing missing was the dramatic hand placed against my forehead and the fluttering of my lashes. He laughed. A lot. I laughed. Role playing just wasn’t something I was ever going to be good at, but laughter during sex I can handle.”A’s Acting

My favorite of A’s is the time her puppy decided to be playful right in the middle of sex (perhaps more so because I know her puppy):

“Suddenly I felt something grab my foot. I thought it was weird the blankets had gotten tangled up like that, shook it off, and didn’t think twice about it. A second or so and suddenly my foot was grabbed again, this time accompanied by the shortest of sounds I instantly recognize…

“Grr”. I shook my foot again. This time I didn’t dislodge the trouble making, furry leach. In fact, I seemed to only encourage it. ” Grrrrrrrrr”

Shake shake.


“GRRRRR” (insert puppy death shake)

My dog had decided that we were playing monster under the blankets, and this was the best play session she’d had in ages. There was no hope he wouldn’t notice. She was loud, and vicious. I had made the absolute worst decision in trying to shake her off, it only encouraged her.

I’m famous for keeping my head cool in the face of mortification. Especially during sex. That entire last statement is a bald faced lie.

I started laughing nervously, he started laughing, my puppy got into attacking my foot more… “GRRRRRRRRRR!”

I couldn’t take it, with no other recourse available, I took my only option. “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, THUMP!”

I took my foot and nudged my dog right off the bed. The sudden cessation of growling followed by the loud thump, was too much. It was just too much. We laughed until tears came to our eyes.”Interrupted

Aug 312016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I love the RACK philosophy (Risk Accepted Consensual Kink). I know that am taking risks, I educate myself on the risks that I am taking, and I consent (and my partner as well). Not everything I do is 100% safe inherently.

I also support the SSC (Safe Sane Consensual) philosophy, but feel that acknowledging risks suits myself a bit more.

I believe that more people are conscious of seeking consent in the BDSM communities than outside of it, where someone may attempt something without a conversation (like smacking my ass, sexual activities, even hugging). I thoroughly enjoy the more direct and honest communication that I hear as well.

This doesn’t mean that everyone I meet has been a positive experience, consensual, or honest; it’s just I have been more likely to encounter this type of dialogue and conscientious people within the kink communities.

Jul 082016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

What used to be hard limits has certainly shifted and changed over the years. These are my limits, so they are solely my issues; I am not judgmental of people who enjoy these activities.

Bodily functions of urine or scat play, including catherization, douching and enemas. I am not even comfortable keeping the bathroom door open if I need to use the toilet.

Anal sex – anything anal is fairly new to me, and I’m still rarely in the mood for stimulation from something small anally, such as a finger or anal trainer plug.

Fisting (still won’t allow it on me), diapers, age play, religious scenes, duct tape directly on skin, needles.

Sex on grass or sand – I’m allergic to grass so that won’t be pleasant, and I really don’t want sand deep in my sensitive zones.

Intentional: bleeding, bruising in visible places, scarring, stretching. I understand that sometimes this may happen, and I take the risk with some activities, however I am not intentionally seeking these things.

*not including illegal, non consensual, harmful activities that I am uninterested in

**Written September 5, 2015. Since then some things have changed (I included a link to each of the write ups of them)

May 122016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

This is so close to Day 4’s question. I can’t remember my first kinky sexual experience, besides it was probably the moment that I brought a knife into the bedroom – but that didn’t seem odd. It seemed comparatively tame considering my then-boyfriend and I were just as likely to bring in swords as we both taught and did sword fighting pretty much daily at the time. Swords seemed a bit cumbersome, but knives seemed just right for the moment.

With him I also experienced bondage, being dominated, primal sex, and a vibrator. Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess while I can’t recall a moment, I can at least point the finger towards a person. He was an amazing lover, and the first person that I (somewhat) opened up to on what I desired.

We’re still really good friends and see each other every couple of years, as distance and time allows. I’m planning a trip to see him this summer, as a matter of fact.

 Posted by at 7:53 am
Jan 202016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

*I repost almost daily on tumblr things that I find sexy or erotic. Here’s an example of one (rope, choking, and dominance, yum!)

And then there’s my own that turn me on, because I remember how it felt or what it does to me:


Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

[jwplayer mediaid=”4143″]

This doesn’t get started until about 40 seconds in. I heard this at a rope intensive. My favorite lyrics:

I feel you
Controlling my every move and what I say
Oh it’s such a crazy game
But still we play it
And you play it hard enough for me

I’m a masochist for you
I love all the pain you put me through
I’m a masochist for you
My heart and hands are tied for you – Niia “Libertine Hero”

And I know I’ve shared this one before, but still, so hot:

[jwplayer mediaid=”4145″]

Wicked Wednesday*For Wicked Wednesday, the prompt is porn. I use tumblr almost daily. One thing I’ve started recommended to friends who are shy about confessing their desire or fantasies to their partner is to both get/use tumblr, and then repost things that they may want or that turn them on. It’s a safe way to express what they find hot without having to verbalize. Their partner can see, and see again – which is also turning them on hopefully. It’s also a good way to have a conversation, asking what specifically do they find hot about the image.

When I use tumblr, I’ve also noticed the added benefit of discovering what I’m in the mood for: am I posting more sensual or more rough images? It’s what I’m in the mood for at that particular moment.

 Posted by at 6:53 am
Jan 072016

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

My weirdest was also described on the post Darker Dreams. It’s just a fantasy, and not something that I want to come true.

A reoccurring fantasy I’ve had is where it’s almost ritualized rape, where I am on a bed, altar, or platform and men in hooded cloaks are all around me, faces unseen the entire time by the hoods and the dim lighting only provided by candles – somehow all the hotter because I will never know who is penetrating me. I am tied spread out on my back, wrists and ankles at corners. They are intent on watching as one after another roughly has sex with me. They do not make any noise – they don’t discuss what’s about to occur, say nothing about me or to me, and don’t even verbally indicate who goes next. I am scared and intimidated, I constantly try to pull out of my bindings – to no avail, I am physically exhausted and sweaty from the sheer number of men around me, and yet I still gush from one pleasurable orgasm to the next.

click to read more

**Day 6 is perfect for the prompt on food for thought friday, so I’m using this write up as well. The questions:

Do you have a sexual fantasy that you would be embarrassed or ashamed to tell anyone about?

Is it a complete fantasy or would you like it to actually happen in real life, if you had the chance?

Are you brave enough to share it here with us?

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

My husband’s penis. It’s the most pleasurable and doesn’t need to be plugged in, charged, or take batteries. It’s waterproof and safe for insertion. It doesn’t make me blush when going through airport security. It tastes delicious. It’s an amazing texture and feel, not to mention beautiful to look at.

Second to that, probably my Lelo Soraya, though I’ve had that for a couple of years and one of the vibrating motors loses a connection or is dying – which makes me a bit sad as I really thought I found a vibrator I wouldn’t break.

Third would be rope – yes it’s a sex toy. When I’m tied up for sex, it tends to be some of the best sex (hence why I write about those sessions so much – we don’t use rope as often as I believe blogging would leave one to believe).

And fourth would be the Doxy Wand. I can’t take much of it, and it overwhelms me, but there is no better toy with rope predicament bondage for just that reason.

*And yes, I’m aware that the question asked for my favorite, but I figured that would be a short post, so I expanded a bit more.

 Posted by at 7:45 am
Oct 152015

The 30 Days of Kink Questions sometimes don’t require a long response from me. Day 3 and 4 are so brief that I decided to combine them.

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

This is going to seem odd, but I discovered I was kinky by reading other people identifying what they were doing as kinky; I realized that I liked some of those same things and that must make me kinky too. So it’s only been a couple of years. Before that, I thought I was normal but adventurous.

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Twenty years ago I began including a knife in my sexual experiences. About the same time, bondage was added. I wish I could remember the moment, or tell a story about it, but to me it just seemed cool but natural, so didn’t imprint in my memory in any way.

I can recall the exact moment I knew my husband would be okay with (at least some) of my kinks:

It was our second date, and he kept a huge ka-bar knife between the driver and passenger seat of his car. We were hanging out in the car, not wanting to part yet, just talking. I straddled his lap while unsheathing the knife and I put the knife (flat side) to the side of his neck. He just calmly looked at me and asked, “whatcha doing, babe?”.

It was love/lust from that point forward. I figured if he could handle having a knife put to his throat with no warning (he didn’t even know I was kinky), then he could handle some other things I may throw his way.

Perhaps the conversation should’ve have come first (now I would consider this a consent violation), but the knife began a great conversation about kinks and desires.

 Posted by at 5:15 am
Sep 252015

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 2: List your kinks.

Mind: tell me what I can and can’t do, order me to do something, tease and tempt my mind. My thoughts, your ability to lead and manipulate them, are by far my favorite kink. This is the dessert of power dynamics, communicating, and/or intelligent lovers. Put me in the right head space to find subspace.

Impact: I’m a lightweight, but: floggers, spankings, paddles, slapping, anything with a thud. I hate sting, but will endure some whipping from rope, misery stick, etc..

Control: breath play, choking, orgasm control: both ordered to come and not to come, orgasm denial, edging, held down, forced down, thrown down; oh please take control so I know it’s safe for me to let go of it!

Sensation: knife, wax, cold, blindfold, things that increase one sensation (especially touch) is such a win. I view this as more sensual play.

Bondage: rope is my absolute love; but cuffs, ribbons, torn clothing, pant legs, anything that binds me is erotic and signals that I can do nothing else other than enjoy myself.

 Posted by at 5:25 am
Aug 232015

Questions found from Insatiable Desire:

Day 1:

Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

*My biggest identifying titles/labels to my least:

Wife: while many wouldn’t find this kinky, it’s because of this title that I truly felt the trust needed to open up about my darkest desires. We have a goal to always be together, we just don’t know where the road where veer to explore a bit more from time to time.

ADD Brat: most often evident when he is tying me. My friends chuckle at our dynamic in this, as I can’t help but look at the rope (you never should, it’s how you get whipped in the face), or teasing him about something, or dancing in my rope before I’m up and suspended, or talking to others around me (unless I’m in subspace). While he complains, and tends to hurt me a bit in warnings, he secretly (and not so secretly sometimes) really likes this aspect of us. Our overall dynamic could be described as playful, and this aspect of myself makes that evident.

Rope bottom/bunny/slut: I really don’t care what’s after the rope title, but I love being tied.

Light weight: I am not a masochist. Get me in the right head space, and I want pain. Get me in subspace, and I can deal with quite a bit of it. However, I would describe myself as a lightweight with pain. I’m currently in negotiations with a rope top, and she informed me that she’ll have to learn to be more playful than sadistic because we want to play together but I’m a wimp.

Primal: My husband and I wrestle, roughly. For the most part, it’s for control or to show who’s on top. These tend to be issued challenges (from either of us) – a clear communication to the other that we want it rough. Bruises will occur, kicking, scratching; we will be sweaty and breathless. I love this as it’s as close as I ever get to consensual non consent play; he will eventually overpower me (I’ve only won once) and force himself in between my legs, gloating over his victory. He’ll have earned it – these last for a minimum of an hour.

Switch: I prefer being a bottom/submissive. However, this is only towards BDSM/sex/kink; in my day to day life I am very dominating and a bit controlling (I think there’s a difference). So for me to take control in the bedroom is an easy adjustment; it’s because I am always in control that I would prefer to not be in that role of top/dominant, despite my ability to take on the role.

Submissive: Get me in the right head space, and I am everything submissive. I will do anything, be anything, endure anything that is asked. However, this is a hard switch for me, so it takes time, or really knowing what shifts gears in my head, hence why it’s so low on this list.

 Posted by at 9:00 am