Dec 212017
 

Masturbation Monday badge - smallI am very orgasm hungry, I think it rules my drive more than the wanting sex (unless I’m ovulating, that trumps anything).

I am incredibly lucky that I orgasm easily, it lends itself to how greedy, how needy I can be. The first orgasm is the longest work and hardest to maintain – it is also often the weakest. All it does is feed my craving for another. My body is tenser, tighter, wanting and willing to work towards the second orgasm – which is always just on the horizon, easy to view and not hard to slide into.

The catch, of course, is that the second orgasm makes it easier to come harder and faster. And the third makes me far more greedy than the first. On and on my body goes, wanting the next – it’s not always that the subsequent ones are harder nor even better, fireworks do not suddenly explode in orgasm splendor; but the more that I orgasm, the easier it is for me to reach another one. When every nerve is sensitive and feels pleasurable, it’s a challenge to not pursue that pleasure.

It’s also why I can orgasm in such a multiple of ways: after the first one through what almost always needs to be obtained by penetration, other avenues to orgasm open up. I have come from just rubbing between my lips, from anal stimulation (or sex), from nipples, from pain like spanking, or slapping, from fist thrumming against my butt or thighs, the knuckles sinking through muscles and hitting what feels like bone.

I have orgasmed from soft sensations like feathers or sheets, from cold sensations like fans or even cold porcelain, from heat like melted wax or a hot breath pressed just right against my hot skin and brushing its way past more sensitive zones.

Teeth, something I normally don’t appreciate on myself, feel amazing as they sink into my skin at the climax. I become rougher in my pursuit of pleasure, more aggressive, my hips thrust up, I squeeze the person involved, my nails or teeth dig in to the point of marking. I beg, I plead, I become desperate to hit the next wave that is always just a sensation away. I sweat, I moan, I grunt – there is nothing sexy or coy about me at this point, I looked wrecked, flushed red and blotchy in places since I am curse to be pale – even my skin tells the tale of my madness.

I can have a moment’s respite, a person can promise to not make me come anymore, but a glance of their fingertips, a breath washing across my skin, and I am primed and pumped for the smallest touch to make me melt and meld all over again. It’s why I can seem tireless one minute in the chase of an orgasm and asleep after a moment’s respite.

I can also have after quakes of orgasms, my muscles inside so clenched that they rub against themselves  and create the friction needed, or suddenly the tension releases and the relaxation of the muscles inside make me shiver in a tiny pleasurable way.

But here is why I think that I am more orgasm driven than sex driven – I don’t need sex to be in this condition. Fingers, a toy, a mouth will work just as well – and even that may just be for the first or second only as I need the penetration.

Also, I can go for months without sex or masturbation and not be bothered in the slightest, as shown during my time as a military spouse separated from my husband – it didn’t mean that I didn’t miss him or miss pleasure, but I didn’t need it, and if he wasn’t around, didn’t feel the urge to pursue an orgasm (only exception was again when I was ovulating strongly, then I masturbated for the day or two).

This works well if, in my relationship dynamic, a boundary is no sex – as was the case with Mimir and is with The Wanderer.

There is a negative to this, however; I am more vulnerable, more agreeable, less verbal, less rational and more easily manipulated after multiple orgasms. It’s why orgasm play – where the goal is multiple orgasms – tends to be something I won’t engage in unless I trust the person. I also appreciate how eventually my partner(s) stop – whether they are tired or they deem I am, as with more orgasms I am less likely to be aware that I need a break, that my body is sore or dehydrated.

May 242017
 

Mr. Texas needed me to engage in kink. It was obvious. I introduced him to it, gave him a taste that he became addicted to, and then withdrew. To be fair: I was withdrawing from life, not just kink.

He hadn’t had a bruise in a month from me, and it had been a few weeks since he had bruised me.

We laid in bed on our sides and kissed, the beginning dance of sex, when I pushed him onto his back and sunk my teeth into the center of one side of his chest. “Ow,” he cried surprised, but the tone was one of optimistic acceptance. After a minute of which I increased the pressure, he tapped softly twice – a physical sign he has always just naturally done when he is at his limit. I leaned up and smiled down at the indentures of my teeth, lowered to lick in the divots, traced my tongue as I savored the sharp intake of his breath. Next, I made a smaller circular mark slightly up from the last one, almost where chest rises to shoulder in the slight hollow. The smaller bite allowed my teeth to curl inward towards each other in a more true bite – he could take more pain in this particular area, a bit more movement. He held his breath, trying to sort through the pain, and then released it as he tapped. I didn’t stop, increased the bite pressure a bit more, and let go at the same time as he said, “yellow”. Soft kisses and tongue tracing covered this mark that almost had my back molars imprinted. Then I bit down under the first mark I made, less of a bite and more of a true sinking of pearly pressure deep into his chest muscle above his nipple. This would leave less of a bruise than it used to – his body becoming adjusted over time to biting, but it would still give me the sensitive chest zone that would feel a tap or a slap, even a pain when I oh-so-innocently pressed my head against his chest.

I did the same with the other side, though to a less extent in case I decided I wanted to play on that side a different day – I didn’t want to exhaust my entire playground where the pain wouldn’t allow me to play another day. Foresight and lessons learned.

Next was his thighs: he knew it and I knew it, but I trailed caresses and kisses down the center of his chest and stomach. I cupped his balls and gripped his hardened shaft as I slid my breasts to either side of his cock, dipped my mouth down and tasted his precum. My lips pressed against his head and slowly opened to suck his head into my libidinous mouth. He moaned in appreciation, pressed up as I swirled my tongue around the top, and groaned as I released him into the air. I gripped his thigh and bit down hard where his muscle flexed instinctively under my touch, hearing his cry and waiting for his tap before I released. I again drew his cock into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat, slowly in and slowly out, as I positioned to bite at his other thigh. This time I didn’t waste time going for a pain that would make him tap but I also contrasted the sharp bite with stroking his hardened shaft, knowing he would be a bit distracted and allow me to sink my teeth into an even deeper bruise. Back and forth I went to each thigh: a painful bite as I stroked him, a teasing of my mouth in between each side. His body didn’t know if it wanted to arch into my mouth or push himself away from it.

After a time I simply pretended I would bite him and I would get the same noises of distress. I would chuckle at his false alarm and if he failed to seem surprise then I gripped and pressed into the more painful places and received the painful signs from him. I straddled his thighs, my own thighs pressed into the muscles that I hurt and he whimpered in surprise. Leaning forward for a kiss, I also shimmied up to straddle his cock, my own wetness slick so his cock nestled in between my lips but I didn’t position myself so he could slide inside. Our tongues slid against each other as I slid up and down, teasingly coating him but not granting him access inside my body. He made a noise of complaint.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I leaned up, pressed my palms into his chest, heard his plaint of pain and smiled at it, pushed harder on his chest where it hurt the most as I lifted my hips and poised myself at his tip. “Don’t  you want this?” As I asked I lowered slightly and took just his head into my body while I curled my fingernails into the marks that my teeth left.

He took a huge inhalation to work through the pain, “I don’t know,” he cried out and arched as his shoulder blades could sink him into the mattress further away from my nails and his hips raised to thrust upwards into my body. I was having none of it, my nails sunk deeper and I raised myself where he left my body completely.

“Oh honey, then I’ll stop,” I soothed as he groaned in frustration and his hips moved back down in defeat. My hands caressed his reddened chest, tracing over the welts of fingers and the depressions of teeth marks.

Gosh, I love contrasts, like to slow down a moment to appreciate such things.

“No,” he was almost panting from pain and need, his breathing coming in short and quick, “it’s fine.”

So again I positioned myself, but this time slammed myself down, impaling to the hilt. Surprised, he jerked under me and groaned. Slowly, I tightened around his girth and raised up, while at the same time leaned back and gripped his thighs where previously I had bitten, felt for the indents of teeth that finger nails filled and clawed into.

There would be no pleasure without pain for him tonight, a predicament that eventually frustrated him enough to throw me off of him and take me from behind, his hands tightly gripping my wrists so I could no longer touch him, until he finally found his release buried within me, his groan beside my ear as his body shuddered and felt heavy against my own.