Aug 242017
 

It’s arousing when he uses my mouth for the sake of using it – no reason: he isn’t searching for a kiss, his cock will not replace his fingers. Mr. Texas will occasionally slip a thumb or a finger(s) in my mouth, sometimes it’s just to slide it gently against my tongue, to pry open my mouth, or to hit the back of my throat. Whatever the reason, it instantly flips a switch with me; I find it hot.

And when his fingers are more forceful in my mouth for no reason, it’s all the hotter to me. For a reason I don’t quite understand yet, I love being used, I love his fingers in an intimate place forcing it wider, or fingertips going deeper and almost making me choke…for no reason other than he wants to.*

I get off on that he is using a part of my body in an unusual manner, I get off on the power dynamic that he does what he wants with me how he wants to. If he’s being rougher, if I’m choking or gasping around fingers who do not appreciate the sacrifice like cock does, it just switches me to a more wanton being.

I want his fingers between my legs, being forceful and sliding against the wetness of my desire and not my saliva. I want the tip of his head to hit my throat, for my lips and tongue to explore the hardness of his shaft. I am being denied; he is being denied; he is creating this denial that benefits neither of us and that’s an incredible shift of power for me.

It’s so sexy.

 

*(Sure, he’ll tell you the reason is because he realizes it makes me wild and I obviously like it, and he loves that reaction).

Wicked Wednesday** I didn’t follow the prompt for Wicked Wednesday, but still felt inspired to write. Click on the circle to see what people find sexy about flying.

Jan 222017
 

I am like Pavlov’s dog with music selections.

Pavlov came across classical conditioning unintentionally…Whilst measuring the salivation rates of dogs, he found that they would produce saliva when they heard or smelt food in anticipation of feeding. This is a normal reflex response which we would expect to happen…

However, the dogs also began to salivate when events occurred which would otherwise be unrelated to feeding. By playing sounds to the dogs prior to feeding them, Pavlov showed that they could be conditioned to unconsciously associate neutral, unrelated events with being fed. – Psychologistworld.com

Certain songs will often remind people of a memory or a person. I find myself reacting to certain songs with physical reactions as well. It’s not that I’ve necessarily played with all these people often (though all but one I have), it’s just that music seemed to be prominent with us or in association with them.

Give me R&B or sexy pop beats, and I think of sex with my ex husbandOccasionally, my nipples will perk up or I will begin to tighten in anticipation. It’s strange to still have this reaction considering that it’s been so long, but it has been far longer still that this music trained me to respond with thoughts and aching for sex. With masturbation, I will still often play our radio station, so strong is my reaction that it helps my own self orgasm.

“I panted, by this time hours of pleasure not allowing me any sense of realism, and unable to help himself from toying with my quivering self, his fingers grazed my clit. I sucked in my breath, already feeling dizzy from the slight contact, my legs parting without thought. Suddenly two of his fingers danced upon my pearl, and I was so taken with pleasure I had no idea how I ended up laying with my back on his chest, one solid arm across my shoulder and neck so fingers could tugged at a nipple, the other hand quickly alternating between slipping into my sex and rubbing up into my clit.” – Incapable of Thinking

Always and Forever – Luther Vandross[jwplayer mediaid=”6952″]

Ride It – Jay Sean[jwplayer mediaid=”6954″]

Signs of Love Makin’ – Tyrese[jwplayer mediaid=”6955″]

Making Love (Into the Night) – Usher[jwplayer mediaid=”6956″]

Alternative music and I think of Mimir’s beautifully crafted scenes. Mimir had so much going on in his scenes that truly it’s a bit hard to pin down what specifically gets me physically reacting. It’s more like a whispered memory across my skin of sensations, an intake of breath of wondering what would have occurred, and a slight feeling of homesickness for rope and scenes crafted in a space that always felt safe and uniquely tailored to me. It’s an utter feeling of longing but incredibly sexy to me as well.

“He moved between my legs, and so softly – the merest gossamer of touches, slid a finger against the delicate lace of my underwear. If I had not been so fixated on his every move, if I had breathed too deeply, I might have missed the touch. It was a sharp contrast to the earlier dominance, this soft caress at my lips.

My body cried out for his touch. My mouth remained silent, not wanting to break the spell with demands that would go unheeded simply because they were uttered. He is not a man to be rushed.” – Take Down

Beautiful – 10 Years[jwplayer mediaid=”6957″]

Evil Angel – Breaking Benjamin[jwplayer mediaid=”6959″]

Bloody Creature Poster Girl – In This Moment[jwplayer mediaid=”6960″]

Industrial German and I think of painful rope with Master MondayRope with him was not unheard of, but we didn’t do it very often. Though I did see his look of planning often to this music, and occasionally was treated to some of his expertise. The music makes me me miss rope in general, but very specifically how badly it can cut into muscles, or the tension creating little doubt of being bound together, or the excitement of something new or creative. It’s a slight adrenaline rush.

“Did I mention the music was awesome? It’s amazing how music can create a scene, and in this case I feel it did. Next thing I knew I was being strung up and fully suspended with legs adjusted from time to time to a more painful position than the last. I was blindfolded and it was then used to pull my head back, in which he arched my back to tie the blindfold into an ankle. That was a tight tie, it didn’t allow any forgiveness or releasing of tension. It was very uncomfortable but sustainable, and I wished that I had been in it longer. He spun me around in that position, his hand brushing over my blindfold, my upturned chin, my tensely pulled back neck, my chest.” – Hurty Rope

Blutengel – Sing[jwplayer mediaid=”6961″]

Centhron – Lichtsucher[jwplayer mediaid=”6962″]

French pop songs and I think of being beat by Mr. Texas. – it’s a reaction I unconsciously created as country music just wasn’t doing it for me and he doesn’t care for most modern songs – so I picked Stromae and have tailored the songs specifically for our scenes. It is hearing these songs that inspired me to write some of my physical reactions to hearing certain music. Especially Love Story, and I think of having a cane taken to me, of the ebbs and flows to create a great scene where he is able to keep my pain threshold with a stinging strike just right and then use another song to build me up to perhaps punching on the back of my bottom or thighs, perhaps flogging (our newest exploration), or some other type of pain that while I handle it better, it certainly brings up the level of pain. Or he just may grip my hair and pull my head back forcefully as he slams his body deep inside of me, a hand around my throat and his deep throaty “mine” that imprints me as thoroughly as the marks. My body gets tense in anticipation of either an orgasm or bracing for impact when hearing this music now.

Love Story – Indila[jwplayer mediaid=”6963″]

Mes Aures – Frero Delavega[jwplayer mediaid=”6964″]

House’llelujah – Stromae[jwplayer mediaid=”6965″]

*I’m not including a post selection for Mr. Texas – for one I haven’t written much about our moments yet, for another, he is my future and we are beginning to strengthen my reactions to him and the music even further – I can’t wait!

**I had twelve songs picked out already as this sat in drafts, and when I saw the prompt for Wicked Wednesday, I thought it was perfect.

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Wicked Wednesday

Nov 222016
 

1. How often do you sext?

I don’t think that I have since my ex husband and I separated again. So apparently it’s not something I do often, and a bit dependent on who I am texting.
2. How many dick pics have you sent in the last 3 months? 6 months? Year?

I have not sent any (considering I don’t have the equipment), I have taken a few, however. Okay, maybe more than a few. Okay, maybe a lot of photos. 
3. Do you prefer to send pics of your boobs or your vajayjay (aka pussy, in case you didn’t know)?

Unquestionably boobs
4. Do you prefer to receive pics of boobs or a woman’s genitals?

I haven’t really received either, but I think I would prefer boobs.
5. Dick pics, do you really think they are sexy?

Some can be, overwhelmingly though they are just the same standard bad photos in general. I especially dislike the ones in the bathroom.
6. Do you send unsolicited pics of your genitals?

Heck no I do not, I barely sent pics when they were ordered by my ex husband when we had that power dynamic.
7. Are you more impressed and willing to get to know, meet-up with, date, or have sex with someone who presents a “good dick pic” or “nice tits” pic?

No, I’m not. However, I will compliment a well done photo.
Bonus: Just how sexy are you?

Right now I don’t feel the slightest bit sexy. It’s something I have the power to change but for some reason I’m very unmotivated. I normally love to work out in the winter. Right now all I want is food and sleep. Even sex and beatings are beginning to lose their appeal (which is shocking).

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Nov 022016
 

picsart_1377230246088

I still have a long ways to go in discovering, but Sis A had a lot of photos. I wish she would have posted more, but she always did struggle with deadlines, or was just forgetful (she was also hoping to launch her own place once her health recovered). What’s amazing is that many of these photos are already edited just the way she would want them.

So here’s one of the many that I found. I’m hoping to share many more – I know she would have liked that.