Sep 252016

Masturbation Monday Week 108I use my phone for masturbation, a lot. As a matter of fact, if I am masturbating, odds are my phone is on and either in my hand or upright from a pillow nearby.

If my masturbation is truly a solo act, it’s from something I see on tumblr. And I am on tumblr almost every single night before I go to sleep (here’s a hot one I just recently found), so I see a lot of images. Considering I rarely masturbate as a solo act, the images that get me the most nowadays are cunnilingus and consensual non consent. As much as I love fellatio, I dislike most images – I like the feel, taste, and performing the act – I dislike most visuals I see because they seem to be from a male self-centered viewpoint (and maybe rightfully so).

But more so for masturbation: my phone has been used with my ex husband. Any time we were separated by distance (not an uncommon occurrence) we used our phones to send sexy texts and videos, had phone sex, and even video sessions together.

Some texts that were masturbation worthy:

We have done a lot and I intend to keep pushing your boundaries. I want to grab you by the neck, throw you on the bed, and have my way with you. I want to fuck you so hard. No ropes will be needed, I will tie you up with my words. I am intrigued by this whole deep throat thing right now, I am to the point I have thought about asking to push harder. [2014]

Thinking of you as I go to bed (posted a photo). I am thinking that when I first see you again of doing something simple like the fuck me rope. It is quick and easy and very effective. You will be bound and fucked in just a blink of an eye. Tied and slammed down on the bed, wrapped up, and fucked hard. [2015] – Sexting Searching

It was a way to maintain power dynamics, one particular time we were on video with each other because I failed at a task:

He wasn’t messing around with the whole punishment concept either, as the next order was to play with myself – already not an easy task with an audience. He was specific with giving him a teasing view of my breasts as I caressed them still wearing the silky lingerie, of lifting the bottom of the fabric with one hand as my other hand’s fingers teased and felt my wetness despite my embarrassment. “Insert one finger,” he would occasionally stroke himself so I was aware of his reaction to his show, “add another one.” I was a puppet, his to command. “Go deeper.” “Watch my fingers,” and he would curl and stroke the air the way he wanted my fingers to move deep in my own body. The man sure did know how I liked to be fingered, and I begged to cum, though he stopped me before I reached climax. – My Punishment 

My phone, while not used for masturbation with another beyond my ex, also keeps me connected and close to my lovers (and even oddly many of my one night stands).

The Wanderer and I, for example, rarely see each other. We would have absolutely zero of a relationship by this point if it wasn’t for keeping in constant, though by no means daily, communication by texts. We’ve only actually reached out and called a few times, but our schedules make that a challenge. Our relationship by phone isn’t one of sexting (though of course a certain appreciation of skills is discussed) but more of friends. We are of a deeper level of connection than just physical, though distance and other priorities keeps that connection almost a stalemate currently.

Cell phones have always been a wonderful addition to my relationships.Masturbation Monday badge - small

Aug 292016

Masturbation Monday Week 104I was going to say something about this picture.

I was going to put myself in the story; as the author and with my active and vivid imagination, use the first person I can experience this, grow excited, tighten clench. I want to be this female tied, in this scene, exposed, vulnerable waiting. Wet, wanton, wanting him to come closer. To cum.

I love when a man finds his release. Not on a face, and I don’t even like the visual on someone else. Not even on her body, which is straining, which mine would be as well, impatient. I would want him in my mouth – that gorgeous cock – the only  thing that he is willing to share of himself – and even then he’s not sharing. He’s too far away from me, from her, stroking it, enjoying his hardness sliding against his palm, his fingers able to feel that ridges that both of us are denied in this scenario. But we are both staring at his action, at his blatant desire at the scenario that he has created, even if we wanted to – we can’t tear our eyes away from the sight of his cock contrasted in the black around him – a spotlight for our focus, for our show, for the preview.

Oh yes, I want to be in this scene. My legs test the boundaries on the rope, fucking amazing rope – I mean this scene was designed for me. It digs into my wrists and ankles, my ankles sore because I see her move and I would as well, to try to relieve some of the tension between my legs, to see if I can escape, to open myself wider in an unspoken invitation.

Yes, I would want to taste him, but ultimately I would want him to take advantage of the predicament of the bondage, my legs are spread for him, for him to push the head past my drenched entrance and slide the hardened length until he hit the wall at the back, fully claiming and filling every part of me. I would clench down upon him as he pulled out a bit, protesting the action, moaning as he sunk back in.

I even like that he is faceless. He could be anyone – a dream or reality. In some ways, I’m objectifying him, it matters not who he is. It matters what he does to me, to her, to us. The stage matters. His cock matters: it is the instrument of teasing foreplay, it is the promise, the temptation, the fulfillment, the reason legs are spread and eyes are riveted.

So yes, when I first clicked on Masturbation Monday, and my body immediately reacted like I was punched in the gut and my fingers wanted to drift towards pleasure, I was going to tell a whole story. Instead I ran out of time and decided to just get to the main idea behind the reaction.Masturbation Monday badge - small

Aug 212016

Masturbation Monday badge - small

On Twitter, as part of my independent self love goal, I wrote about not completing a task and forgiving myself for that. I was given a last minute (an hour) order to accomplish something and didn’t; I later told him I needed understanding and to keep in mind that it’s fair to ask 24 hour notice. While he agreed that there would be no punishment, and gave me a more simple task I could complete last minute (see picture), he will be “keeping in mind” that I didn’t do it as he asked last time. Yikes!

Tasks are something that I view as being very specific to power dynamics, and something that can be considered almost a to-do list. I don’t view tasks as something that is said in the moment (unless the scene is laid out) – they have to be thought of prior, and in my own experience have a deadline or time set aside.

A recent task I was given

In this regard, with this definition, I have only engaged in tasks with my husband – though I’m sure truly it could be applied to perhaps two other people, but with them power dynamics have been more present but not fully established. It is unquestionable to me that I obey my husband’s commands when it comes to sex and kink (granted that means that a safe word is still applicable and that my hard limits are respected). He also tends to push my comfort levels with tasks – visual in some regard, masturbation being the top requested thing (even during our scenes).

His tasks are almost always while we are separated, as he is a visual person and misses the sight of me, not to mention this is a way for him to continue our power dynamics while we aren’t close to each other – a reminder I need quite a bit of as I’m naturally more dominant in personality. I’ve written about some tasks he will give me:

“I want a picture…you will get dressed in your stockings we got you I like, with your crotchless panties, and take pictures. I want a couple of pictures of you playing with yourself and then in child’s pose. If you are feeling real frisky take your new plug and put it in, pull your underwear to expose yourself while in child’s pose, and take that picture. This may be hard to do but you can use your phone timer, or something, I am sure you can figure it out. Only need to send one picture, you can send more, but I think they will turn out good and we can use them for later [for the blog].”

He’s never before been so specific, so detailed, nor has he ever demanded a photo. In the past, he only hinted or suggested I take one for him.

I think this reflects that he is aware of more of what he likes and wants.

I think this also reflects that gradual change that has occurred in our relationship – he’s more dominant overall nowadays. – Tasks

When he got home some months later, he used a video he ordered me to make and had me watch it while we had sex. This was a hard task for me: for one, I struggle to keep my eyes open, for another I dislike how I look – the reason he had me watch: he told me how sexy he found me and how it turned him on, seeking for me to view myself more positively. (Watch)

Videos are challenging for me, and one of his favorite things, so I get video tasks quite often. I dislike doing them, they are out of my comfort zone, and yet I am excited that he likes them. If I didn’t receive positive affirmation, I may not do them at all (last time was a lukewarm response that I’m sifting through some emotions with – believing that it’s my own emotions versus his).

Because videos are such a challenge, I find loopholes all the time, and he is learning those loopholes. An example would be when he told me to wear something sexy, and I wore a flannel because I found that sexy; though I did give him one hell of a strip dance – another request for that particular task and one that made me feel mutinous. He also knows exactly when I will balk, and has learned that the consequence has to up the ante. The last time I became too busy to complete a task, there was a severe consequence that I am not anxious to repeat (this time he also picked out my clothes so that I would wear something he found sexy), though the my punishment was incredibly hot.

Even though we switch in our marriage, the power dynamics are firmly established when the switch takes place. If I am in charge and he tries to pull rank, I don’t put up with it and his body often feels my displeasure. He hates pain and it really isn’t part of our scenes where I dominate him, “When I increased the sensations in roughness, I also took less care of tenderness – kissing him less, manhandling him more. When he would try to move away from a sensation, my hand was around his neck or my elbows were digging into a pressure point to keep him still, with a warning that he soon heeded to stay still and work through accepting the sensations” (Pegging Again). My elbows tend to be pretty accurate and get the point across on a physical level that I am in charge.

I use tasks most often to dominate him, a handy tool I learned a couple years ago after many failed attempts to give him a scene that he envisioned but couldn’t verbalize, “I…do what I do best: I made a list of what I needed and what I was planning – though the planned part was vague so that he didn’t understand… I threw him the list. ‘Complete each one, wait before completing another as I have a task you need to do in between each step.'” (Lists will save me). 

Some tasks I’ve given him are:

  • cleaning out a wax warmer to put in massage wax (because I was lazy)
  • fingering me to orgasm
  • tying my velcro ties around the bed for his height
  • edging himself
  • finding items for the scene (again, lazy)
  • making me orgasm through sex a certain number of times without cumming
  • putting me in my strap on harness (I just need help with adjustments, but I make him do all the work).

I will also give him some video/phone/writing tasks while we are long distance. These are mostly so I can seek to understand something; for instance, I just recently asked him to think about and explain why he made the comment that I am not a hard enough bottom and that he may find our level of play unsatisfactory long term, also what kind of hard play he was referring to missing and what he got out of it. The comment hurt me, but I tried to understand what he was saying, and not putting my own feelings and implying it to his intention. When I ask for a masturbation video with specifics, I am looking for what he finds hot/sexy/how he touches and when.

So tasks are about power dynamics and firmly establishing/reaffirming them, but also to show care, support, and seek understanding. And then sometimes, they’re just hot and fun and filthy and wonderful.

Except for the rare exceptions, all of the tasks so far between the two of us tend to be incredibly masturbation-worthy.

Aug 162016

1. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why?

The most beautiful place is where my family is, of course. Second to that, and an actual location, may be a bit harder to define as I’ve truly not traveled much. It could be the Blue Ridge Mountains in the East Coast of USA, or the Yucatan, or in the middle of a rain forest, or the crystal clear blue waters of the ocean where all the colorful fish  and reefs are visible, or at the top of a pyramid. I also love the sight of my bed after an exhausting day, or the sight of my lover’s arms outstretched to hold me when I need it. I’ve loved all those sights.

2. How old is the most expired item in your fridge?

I’m sure it’s pretty old, because my aunt is a hoarder with refrigerator things and she is partially responsible for my filled fridge. That reminds me: I need to go through and throw out stuff instead of just putting stuff in front of.
3. What’s under your bed?

An under-bed container holding my bras. That’s it.
4. What is in your pocket?

I’m not wearing attire that supports pockets.
5. Which famous person would you like to be best-friends with? Why?

Far too many to count, though by famous person I am thinking more historical/influential/author/fictional character people.
6. There is now a line of lacy lingerie for men. Would you wear it or like to see your man in it? See here and here

Of course I would, my husband looked amazing in see-through thong, I’m sure he’d look amazing in that. And any man that is willing to put on something sexy for me is going to get positive praise from me.
Bonus: Think The Olympics. Men’s gymnastic uniforms–sexy or goofy? Discuss!

Men that participate in the Olympics tend to be damn sexy anyhow, because athletes are sexy, and having physical strengths and abilities are inspiring and awesome (and this is from someone who also finds challenged athletes sexy – I’m going to be in San Diego supporting some wonderful people soon, I hope, for The Million Dollar Challenge). So, regardless of what they are wearing, I find (age-appropriate) athletes sexy.

The fact that people take care of themselves, challenge themselves to not give up – especially after failure (which inevitably there are many opportunities for that), and have the motivation to train and improve is admirable, and it’s a quality that I find incredibly sexy. It’s also one that I wish I did more with myself nowadays and a state I hope to get back to.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

_____________ Also written for Wicked Wednesday with the topic of “Sports”Wicked Wednesday

Aug 132016
Sinful Sunday

So I am lucky enough to make some amazing friends in my new town, and one in particular will play with me regularly (or as often as I am able to get out, realistically). I will have a character page up with him because he’s also been gracious enough to do a rope/photo session with me.

Here is one of our earlier moments, towards the end of a fantastically long rope socialIMG_2221

Aug 022016

Wicked WednesdayShe knew he was working, but they still wanted to be near each other. So when she entered his office, she wasn’t surprised that he was on the phone behind his desk. He smiled and gestured her over, standing up and coming around the desk. He put an arm around her and positioned her facing the desk, taking one wrist and placing it palm down on the edge of the desk. She put the other one there herself, trying to be accommodating while he worked. He lifted her skirt and caressed her bottom through the lacy underwear she wore.

She looked over her shoulder at him and he winked at her. Somehow all the more naughty of a gesture because he was on an important business call.

He finished the call after a few minutes, caressing her the rest of the call. When he put down the phone, he told her to go to the conference table on the other side of the room. He moved the chair on the end and she perched up against the edge, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him deeply. When he broke off the kiss after some moments, he undressed her slowly, taking advantage of the time he had in between phone calls. His mouth followed the paths of fabric falling down or rising above her luscious body. She felt shy to be naked in an office, but she had locked the door behind her and did as he asked.

He kissed and tweaked her nipples as she gasped at the pleasure/pain that sent currents deep within her. He leaned her back slowly, her bare skin pressed back onto the cold glass table. His fingers wasted no time in plunging into her wet body, curling upwards and moving at a tempo that he knew all too well would bring her to orgasm. Her moans and body arching told him he was close, and when he felt her body tighten around his fingers, he withdrew.

She sat up whining her displeasure. He tried to look wide eyed and innocent. “What? I need to get on another call.” He smiled and winked at her, grabbed a small chocolate from the candy dish in the center of the table, unwrapped the foil and popped the sweet morsel in her mouth; “no noise from you,” he teased, then turned and went back to the desk, throwing the order, “stay there,” behind his shoulder where she laid so temptingly close. He initiated the call, and walked back to her, loving the view of her legs spread, her ankles resting on the edge of the surface and her knees bent. He walked alongside her body, his fingertips beginning at her foot and tracing the path up to the side of her face. His thumb brushed against her plump bottom lip and she smiled before sucking it into her mouth.

She could be the tease as well and her eyes seemed to threaten that as much as her mouth promised.

He pushed a button to mute the call and pinched a nipple in response. Just as he guessed, she yelped in protest. He again placed another chocolate on her tongue to replace his thumb, his finger pressed against both of her lips in a quiet signal before hitting sound, made a comment towards the call, halfheartedly listening, then hit mute at a time where he felt the people on the other line were going to be continue without him, stepping up to her body and rolling a nipple between his thumb and forefinger before rolling her clit with the same thumb. He watched her eyes go to half mast and her breathing become more shallow at the pleasurable sensation.

Unfortunately, the call seemed to require him again as he spun around and again engaged in conversation. He stayed on until it ended, checked the time, and decided he had enough time to bring her to orgasm for waiting so patiently…for a price. He noticed that there were a few more colorful candy wrappers littering the table. She always did have a sweet tooth and felt that he was just as guilty in craving her body – he just couldn’t resist.

He pulled out some binder clips used to hold stacks of paper from his desk drawer and then rolled the chair to face between her legs. Such a great leveled view. In anticipation of him there, she spread her legs slightly wider, not seeing the clips in his hand. He placed one on the outside edge of her lip, and the pinch caused her to cry out in surprise. A finger dipped in and soothed her with pleasure before he grasped the other lips and carefully pinched more of the lip lining right at her entrance. Even slick, it held and from her noises he knew that it pinched painfully. Even more carefully, he placed a smaller clip on the hood and her noises told him that he was pushed the limit with the location. His thumb again thrummed against her button, the small clip  bobbing with the motion.

She whined as both pleasure and pain rolled through her body. His fingers slowly eased into her, his hand brushing against the clips on either side of her entrance and added contrasting sensations. It hurt and continued to become more painful as he moved more assertively, and yet the pleasure built and she felt her body become more tense to welcome the gathering orgasm.

She tightened around his fingers and he made sure that his hand spread to push the clips more fully, adding more pinch during the height of her orgasm. She cried out as her pleasure coated his fingers, and with his other hand, he removed the small clip on her hood. She whimpered and he curled his fingers. She moaned. He removed the clip on her inner lip, hoped that the haze coming down from her orgasm was still present to make the pain a bit more tolerable, and smiled at her reaction.

He loved how reactionary she was.

The last clip came off before he withdrew his fingers. He leaned forward and praised her as he kissed her lips, the smell of chocolate from her breath mingling with her wet scent an aphrodisiac to him, then regretfully turned towards his computer and phone to take another conference call. She sure did make conference calls a lot more interesting.

Jul 062016

I think a lot of things kneeling, but most of it is not for D/s as I’ve never really experienced that dynamic.

What first comes to my mind is kneeling so that I can take him in my mouth. Soft where deep throating is easy, where I feel the blood engorge his shaft on my tongue and begin to block my throat as I suck to keep him as deep; or hard already where my hand will help his bobbing member, my lips parting and then protecting from teeth, my tongue swirling along the ridges and veins, my throat relaxing and opening to take more of his length. Kneeling so that I can hear his noises that it feels good, that I continue, that he is cumming (god, I love it when a man announcing he will cum right before he does). Kneeling while he pulses and throbs, as his salty passion spills upon my tongue and down my throat.

I kneel next often for doggy style, or some variation of that. On hands and knees so that he can finger fuck me, rim me, or where he can slowly insert a plug into my back hole. On hands and knees where he grabs my hips and slams his pelvis against me, my hands needed for balance as we go hard and fast, the head of his cock hitting a wall deep inside of me. Or his favorite of my bottom up and chest down, a kinky child’s pose, one where he can be so deep inside of me and that rubs all the right ways. Perhaps his thumb or a finger will rub at the entrance of my back hole – after all I am utterly exposed there this way.

IMG_6277I kneel to ride him and admittedly I am getting a bit better at this. I have short legs so kneeling isn’t always effective, but I try and at least slide him into my body in this position before I change over to squatting over him, and my knees scrape the sheets as I rock back and forth, grinding down hard upon his cock.

I kneel to masturbate sometimes. For him, it might be for his viewing pleasure as I do a strip tease, my thighs spreading even further to lower myself as my fingers tease where he can see. For myself, I may kneel after I’ve positioned my wand with an attachment propped up on a pillow, where I can comfortable ride the vibrations until I orgasm so intensely that I am out of breath and the attachment is covered white from my cream.

I rarely kneel in deference of submission or to show that he is of a higher status. Though admittedly, he could request this of me at certain times and I would, high on sub space and orgasms.

Kneeling can be taxing on my knees, the poor skin rubbed raw by sheets or carpet burn, or just sore by a hard floor (showers most often come to mind for this). But I am more than capable of kneeling, and do so for the most pleasant reasons.