Jun 192017
 

We laid in bed and snuggled in. It then that I realized my mouth, as it was inches from him. 

I shut it. Why did I forget my mouth? I could smell the sin on my own breath , surely he would be able to as well. 

Why was so careful to inspect and hide all the evidence of my cheating but my mouth still carried the scent? I should have brushed my teeth, of all the simple things that I simply overlooked!

It was glorious cheating for once, I relished and reveled in a different taste, though my body didn’t care for the experience.

But now that I was literally face to face with him, my lips were sealed, not just with the secret but to not slip proof of my weakness. 

And I realized, it wasn’t worth the risk.

The taste in my mouth became pungent and putrid, it laid on my tongue and made me victim rather than victor. What would he think of me if I were to expose myself as someone who succumbed? 

Hopefully if he pushed his tongue into my mouth to delve and taste, he would think it was a bad breath rather than bad form. But my breath, which gives me life and sustinence may now end something that I hold dear…

If nothing else, I would see, especially this close to his face, the disappointment rather than pride, the distrust.

The chili dogs weren’t worth it.

May 102017
 

When I shave I have perhaps an hour of smooth legs, two if I’m very lucky and it’s been awhile since I shaved.

Mr Texas has commented numerous times that he wants me to shave my legs more, doesn’t want me to grow out my winter coat.

So I bought an epilator and thought I’d give it a try. One test area to my leg after thoroughly researching how to use it and I decided I hated it and that I just couldn’t do that to myself.

So when Mr Texas decided to request three items be placed on the bed, my way of requesting a scene and what kind I wanted, I decided to stick the epilator there with nipple clamps and a vibrator for a pleasure.

“This doesn’t count,” he protested, “find something else.”

“It does too! It’s an instrument of pain and torture, and something I’ll need aftercare from.”

“Find something else.”

So I pouted and deliberated and pick out a knife for the pleasure sensation too – no other painful instrument was to touch me the same night as that epilator.

I laid on the bed naked and hugged a huge fluffy pillow against me; it covered most of my torso and as soon as that demonic device touched my leg and moved, I cried and hit the pillow, my nails trying to pierce the softness and rip it to shreds – luckily the pillow withstood the onslaught.

My legs didn’t feel as though they could survive, around the shin wasn’t as bad but the calf was horrific, I couldn’t lay still and Mr Texas was half exasperated and half laughing at my hysterics.

“I’m definitely a sadist,” I heard him murmur in between a chuckle when I howled at a sensitive bit.

After one leg, he removed the pillow and laid on top of me, his body weight and warmth reassuring as he made hushing and reassuring noises alongside my neck. He kissed and distracted me a bit as I held onto him for all I was worth.

“You are going to need aftercare,” he decided.

“I know,” I wailed pitifully against his neck. “And you’ve still a whole other leg to do.”

May 052017
 

I’ve written about how I’m not kink enough.

Now I’m concerned that I’m not blog worthy. Hell, let’s just say I’m not life worthy. I’m an imposter, something Kayla Lords writes eloquently about.

My sister and I began this blog. I didn’t think I could do it alone, even though I did all the research, read those I admired, had a plan on how to enter the sex blogging community. I didn’t think I had enough to write about, or that my writing wouldn’t be strong enough, or diverse enough. So, I invited my sister into my idea – less scary to jump in alone, and I already knew she was brilliant and talented. Not to mention that she had the most unusual sex life – far more exciting than my own. I asked her to start Sinful Sundays simply because I didn’t have the confidence to be seen – a point she couldn’t believe I asked of her but she flourished under the supportive community until I tip toed in. See how self doubt and comparisons crept in before I ever leaped?

This space here brought us closer. It also caused arguments as my flighty sister in her exciting life couldn’t commit to a post, a timeline, couldn’t be bothered with the responsibility. But we got over those – we were always each other’s biggest supporters and every single thing that she contributed was appreciated and far more than I could ever write. Towards the end, her health halted things on here; she wanted to go towards more of the photo side and show her face – a dilemma that had her creating her own space where she began with old photos, but even though I fully had the reins and was managing it all here, I was rallying for her to begin her own creative journey once she became well enough to do so. I was also curious how soon it would take to pass up on this space – one she had helped create.  I’m sure it was only a matter of time.

And now she’s dead.

When I first began writing my own stories, they were all about my husband. Impersonal erotica at first, and then a glimpse into our marriage – and then our problems. Now this space, my end of the stories, are more journal type though they are relationship and sex centered.

And now he’s gone.

I feel that they took a piece of me with them – I don’t feel that I deserve to be  happy. I feel that I have nothing to write about and no support system to continue this blog – they who were every nook and cranny of the foundation space here.

Sure, I know that I have ran this blog successfully, and that everyone deserves to be happy and pursue their aspirations, but I feel like…

The truth is, I’m unsure what to feel. I’m putting one foot in front of the other, I’m pursuing a relationship with Mr. Texas, I’m being unsuccessful at creating an environment that is multiple-relationships friendly, I’m living a lie.

Every time I felt unsure of myself, I could call my sister. I cannot anymore. I reread her cheerleading words sometimes and they just make me feel more despondent – because she was life in itself and I am nothing more than a fraud pretending to live.

Dec 262016
 


Photo courtesy of Sex is My New Hobby

Welcome to Elust 89

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #90 Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the Tears Finally Came

The pure and simple truth

One Down

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Disabilities & Submission, Part 2: I Say No

UnRepentant Darkness

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Hoar Frost…

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Hold me down
Keeping me chaste
Say My Name
The Little Things
Struggle…
Learning To Truss
A New Use
My Mania is My Drug
Life as a Laissez-Faire Domme

Erotic Fiction

Watching
Candy, Caned
Jax and Rickie’s First Kiss
New Collar

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why You Should Make a Sex Tape
And the winner is…doggy style!
Pleasantville: The Promise of Trump’s America
Bdsm reasons for not hitting children
An Open Letter to MrHankeysToys.com

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Fun Of Being Stripped Of Wet Running Kit!
I want to lick your pussy some more
KIDNAP – a story of fear, pain and sex
Sybian
Well, that’s new…
Objectionable Hair – A Lady’s Taboo

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

UnPartnered
The Cub
I still have hope
A Baker’s Dozen #fucketlist

Poetry

Conditional
-07.12.16_02:16-

 

Elust 88

Nov 252016
 

miss-scarlett-header
Photo courtesy of Miss Scarlet Writes

Welcome to Elust 88

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #89 Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Heart stabbing

Redemption: The Sex Goddess Project

Exhibitionish

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

An Open Letter To That Cunnilingus Post

I Found Myself Over His Knee

 

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 1

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Erotic Fiction

Overlook
The Haunting of Iris Day
MERMAID??? Wicked Wednesday #229
Fear, Scents and Sounds
Lady Amore
love is love
Spray
Her Struggle
The New Principal

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Evolving Landscapes
Trust in Me
15 BEST Things About Giving Blowjobs!
With a rebel yell
What lie do you need to hear so we can Fuck?

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Brush
Tasked with asking for what I need
How Old Is Too Old For Wild Lovemaking?
Brass In Pocket
An Unstated Predicament
California Cuisine
Krystal’s First Pegging
Struggling

 

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

That Adult Bookstore Just Outside Town
Creature of the night
MISTRESS IN A DRESS – or out of it
Come Here. I want to Taste You
Terror of the cane! How to make caning sexy

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

11 Signs You Might Be a Side Guy

 

Writing About Writing

Writing Sex Scenes With Less Cissexism, Pt 1

 

ELust Site Badge

Oct 212016
 

understanding-flutterby-header
Photo courtesy of Understanding Flutterby

Welcome to Elust 87

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #88 Start with the rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

On Secret Identities

Dividing lines…

Ember and Ash

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Bdsm: Our pleasures are our obligations

Southpaw

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Change your Cookbook: a monogamuggle’s guide to cookin’ with poly folk

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

When Love is not enough.
the fantasy and reality of my arrival

Blogging

Shine a Light

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

When You’re Bad
How Women Use Their Sexuality As A Weapon
Dear Fans: Quit Kinkbashing

Erotic Fiction

Big Daddy
(Re)Verse
The Front to Back Challenge
Pretty
GAME OF TWO HALVES – role shift
no. 106

Erotic Non-Fiction

He’s Cumming
Washing up
Chew Toy
So many friends with benefits

Poetry

One Stroke
-25.09.16_12:52-
Early Morning Haikus

 

ELust Site Badge