Curvaceous Dee writes “Doing as I’m Told“, and my response, I found, was going to be too lengthy, so I thought I would expand here.
She discusses coming on command, without arousal, a scene, or buildup. I am unsure if I can do this, though my husband has ordered me to come with very little buildup, so little that I am beginning to believe it would be possible. However, in those rare moments when I obey his command with very little turn on, he was at least making sure I was in the right head space – so the power play dynamics were at work (he is only Dominant in the bedroom or a scene).
Part of this reaction, I believe, began because I willed my body to orgasm when he would command it, because he is not naturally dominant (though nowadays, I wonder…), because any time he stepped into that role I wanted so badly to reinforce (yep, I realize how topping from the bottom this makes me sound) it, how I didn’t want to disappoint him (see? working towards more submissive, people are dynamic), how I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to be confident that I would do my best to obey, I wanted him to know that he truly could control me.
But even with the power dynamics, I don’t believe that I would be capable of this if it wasn’t for conditioning my body to respond for years. Even before we began the power play, we were unknowingly working towards this goal. He used to build me up for a long time, begin verbally painting pictures of how much he desired me and what he was going to do, and then the foreplay would stretch until the merest touch could set me off – so a command telling me to welcome that pleasure that is building and pushing at me was an easy thing to attain.
When he began controlling my orgasms (withdrawing and ordering), I believe it came from being together for so long and the knowing intimately of a partner’s physical cues. I believe that I required touch to get to that point.
Recently, I’m not so sure. The very little arousal, but correct head space, is proving that may not be the case. Perhaps it’s as Dee states, a mental conditioning to respond to another – and like her, I will not respond to just anyone, only my husband. When he tells me to come, I tighten and clench immediately, without thought, to such an extent that pleasure ripples throughout me and I am wet and climaxing – I no longer control it, he does. His voice drops a timber, he always says it clearly and firmly, and he is always watching me for the tell-tale signs that I am obeying.
More often now, I am shocked when he orders this and my body reacts, especially if I am not sexually aroused. But when my eyes open in surprise, his smile of approval now reinforces this reaction.
I wonder if I will get Dee’s “X Man mutant ability” to come on command with a written word even, or a different word that we’ve established beforehand to go in public with. In the past, I would have believed that this is not possible, now it may very well be a (rare, sure) superpower.