Jun 052016

Husband: “I would want to spend the night on the couch to move our things.”

Me: “I would want sex or cuddles. Don’t spend the night.” I didn’t think I could take his presence near me, was rather hoping he wouldn’t spend the night.

Husband: “Fuck no, I’m not having sex with you.”

….”we should FaceTime.”

…As he masturbates: “I miss you. We just need to see each other”

….”Let’s have sex, we’re so good together”

…”I’m coming there a weekend early”

…”Let’s come up with a list of things we haven’t done before and do them.”


I asked why we should do new things with each other considering that we’re divorcing.

“Because we love and trust each other. Who else do you love and trust like me?”

He has a point…but he also has a girlfriend that he left me for. I demand condoms.

“Fuck no, no condoms.”

That’s up for debate between the two of us, and yet we still come up with a list for a weekend that he is coming early, a weekend he will be lying to his girlfriend about his whereabouts.

I have now become the other woman to my own husband.


The list:

Consensual non consent

Cutting me in a rope scene

Sex in suspension

Fisting him

Anal Sex

Face fucking and sitting on face (more roughly than ever before)


Wicked Wednesday*Wicked Wednesday is about choices, and I haven’t made smart decisions when it comes to my ex husband. I have changed from someone I respected to someone who is weak, desperately and unrealistically hopeful, and makes continuously poor choices. Posting this is another example, but I am far from perfect and not all stories are happy. I am responsible for every single bad decision that I have made, and I alone am accountable.

Two poor choices are being published today as well: Bloody Seconds and Just Try It.

Just this weekend, my trust was betrayed in such an immature and deeply personal way from someone I was still protecting, loving, and unrealistically still viewing as a friend. I am tired of being stalked, harassed, and involved in things that I have no desire to be in. I am letting go of all other writings in the hopes that finally, finally, I will be left alone from the negativity.

I’m ready to climb out of this rabbit hole.

  12 Responses to “Dialogue with a brand new ex”

  1. Break the cycle. Don’t have sex with you ex. You need to break it off completely.

  2. I’ve been admiring your writing for quite some time now, particularly as of late as you have bravely chronicled your emotional struggles with your husband. I say bravery because it takes a lot of courage to write what you write. Postings on fucking and scenes and the explicit details that follow are one thing; to reveal yourself and your sufferings in the manner you are doing is something else. It’s admirable. You’re admirable. I wish you the very best as you continue to navigate these treacherous waters.

  3. I understand (and have been there long ago) but continuing with your husband is not a likely road back. He wants easy casual sex without any commitment or connection. Don’t let yourself be used by him. He is betraying your trust. If you continue (and this is the “good” news), this behavior will sour your entire feelings for this man. There will no longer be any happy days together and you will grow bitter about him. Why did I say good news: because it will be your incentive to toss him out of your life. (I’ve already read the following posts.)

  4. Hey we can hold each other’s hands as we climb out.

  5. I’ve read this post and the other two and I am crying for you. I am hurting for you. These post make me sad, but also horrified me. When you described how deep he cut you, I couldn’t help but wonder if he deliberately wanted to hurt you and not in a kinky way. Then I read the anal post. It made me feel very uncomfortable. He shouldn’t have pushed on. No is no. You said no.

    I’m glad to read you’r ready to climb out of the rabbit hole. You deserve to move away from it all, to be happy again – without him and without being the other woman. He’s keeping you weak to make you the other woman, and that’s one thing you’re NOT: weak!

    Thanks for sharing so honestly.


    Rebel xox

  6. Being put in a bad situation is difficult. Even if you put yourself there, I don’t think it makes you weak. And your work to climb out is huge. You are stronger than you think.

  7. I always try to never pass comment on others private lives and situations.
    These things should always be the choice of those involved . . . but may I just quote you four of your own words ” he will be lying . . . ”
    Xxx – K

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