Feb 052016

February Photofest Badge 2016



What’s the magic number?  This week we turn our thoughts to how much we need to share about our pasts with current partners

Do you need or expect to know how many previous sexual encounters your current sexual partner has had? Is it any of your business?

To an extent. 

My husband looks(ed?) down at people “like me” who have had a larger number of partners. He wanted firsts; however, he loves the benefits of my knowledge and skill.

I worried when I first met him that he would want to sleep around when it was least appropriate in our life together because he didn’t have a lot of experience – that he would be curious what was out there, that he would want to discover that despite risks to us, that he wouldn’t realize how grand we were because of his lack of experience. He told me he just wasn’t like that, and despite me pushing him to sleep around before something went horribly wrong later in life, he convinced me to have faith that he would love and appreciate what we had. 

In these respects, I believe knowing about your partner’s past is important, though the knowledge obviously didn’t sway my husband or myself in the slightest. 

after a scene

Us after a scene. Look at how many toys this person has! Envious!

  3 Responses to “How Many”

  1. My Master and I were completely open about previous boyfriends/girlfriends when we first started dating. That said, it was pretty simple to discuss because we were both virgins.

    The past few years of course, we have both had other sex partners, which the other was always present for, but still when discussing “the number” it gets kind of fuzzy when you try to decide exactly what counts as sex. And then there was the night I lost track… so my “all important number” is unknown.

  2. This is an odd one for me, because I actually can’t bear to think about Sir being intimate with someone else, so whilst I know, in a previous open relationship he had, he slept with a fair few, I have never asked for numbers, or details.

    It was a huge concern, when we got together, that he would expect an open relationship again, that being his main past, and that just wasn’t going to happen with me. I want exclusivity, I want his body, mind, heart to be mine….and thankfully he’s more than happy for that to be the case. I also thought he’d be wanting me to sleep with others, too, but again, although he likes the idea, he’d never push me to do it.


  3. Ali asked me this weekend how many lovers I’ve had and I flat out refused to tell him. Under 100, I said. When he pressed I asked him what good would come of him knowing? He had no answer for that.

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