It is unfortunate that I have experienced the burnout of a sub drop for quite awhile before realizing that I needed aftercare. Not too many people write about it after the experiences of the high.
Not to mention that I’ve experienced this with intense multiple orgasms that have nothing to do with “submissive play”. I’m not sure that (a) many people are aware of that it feels the same, or (b) that many women can multiple to that extent. I only know that I have experienced it, and the burnout is horrific from this – more because it’s more subtle that I need care when I haven’t been treated roughly or gone through any mind fucks.
What I’ve read has helped to such a great extent. I’ve read that I’m not alone in:
the depression and lethargy,
that it sucks – and that’s putting it mildly,
that I may feel incredibly alone,
ready to separate from my lover,
withdrawal in general,
honestly feel like the world isn’t worth it and not being dramatic,
that it may occur immediately afterwards or even a couple of days.
…………………………………This type of information is so comforting.
Another helpful contribution in reading is the actual aftercare that some use. It is individualized, especially depending on what an individual needs/likes, but I’ve gotten some really great ideas. Like:
a straw in a water cup for ease of drinking while exhausted or tied up,
chocolate or sugared candy (just a tiny piece) for sugar drops,
words of assurance (you were great, beautiful, etc.) (I love you, so glad I’m with you, etc.),
tightly being held,
the person waiting to clean/tidy up until after my need for being held is met,
soft caresses (not for stimulation, but relaxation),
absolutely no serious conversation afterwards -not thinking right and it takes them out of the “happy/high” feeling.
Now, I’ve had to find these ideas on my own (instead of my lover) and suggest them; but I suppose that it hardly matters as long as my needs are being met by a man who has never done this either. I just recently read of another blogger suggesting things like their favorite movie (though I can’t imagine this being directly after), waiting for a bit and then stimulating them just a little (like kisses and an anal plug) for a taper down effect, a bath with their favorite salts/bubbles.
It has been a challenging journey, trying to find limits, reaching states (only read about) for the first time, trying to figure out what the heck to do with ourselves afterwards. I’m loving the journey, I’m frustrated with it at times, but most importantly: I’m learning.