Written by M’s husband:
Right now I am at a state in my life where everything is up for question. My life was what most people would call normal: I was married, I had a kid, and yes we fought every once in a while over stupid things. Our sex life was okay for the average married couple, then I got divorced.
Some time later I met my current wife, this “little” ball of fire, but on fire none the less. From the first time I met her I was just drawn in for some reason, that is saying something if you know me. I actually pursued her, and even made the first move. I am a very shy, reserved type of person, and to be making moves and pursuing this woman, there had to be something special about her. While it could have been seen as rebound lust or my urge to not be alone, I would soon find out it was none of those: this woman was special.
We started dating, and let’s just say the first day was insane, the second date she pulled a knife on me, in a sexy and not psycho way. It was from that moment she knew I would be okay with kink, or at least open to it.
Let’s skip a few years up to now, I wouldn’t want to bore you with all that. I am at a point in my life I never thought I would be at. I am currently in an open marriage with my soulmate, best friend, and lover all wrapped up in one person. She has opened up not only my eyes, but my heart and mind as well.
My eyes: I no longer see the world with blinders, or judging every thing I see going on around me.
My heart: being married to some one is not the end of my relationships as love is endless, whether I am doing a simple rope scene with someone or a full on relationship, my love for my wife will never fade, no matter what.
My mind: over the years my wife and I have been married we have tried many things. The trust we have in each other far surpasses anything I have ever experienced before. Being allowed to be myself and not shoved in this box of what society deems normal and okay has opened up my mind to many questions; I feel this has to be one of the biggest changes thus far. I can not stop questioning things and I am not talking about what type of underwear to put on or the color of my shirt – I question my very being.
Questions about my kinks: what gets me going, my sexuality, woman, men, and trans, hell for me it all seems to be up in the air.
It was just the other day I told my wife I was curious about bringing a transgender person into the bedroom. I never even knew what a trans person truly was less than five years ago.
Awhile back, I had a man tie me up, roughly handle me, and even whip me; in my brain it was not a male it was just a person tying me up and I was having a wonderful time. Before I would not even let them get close to me.
Pleasure is pleasure, if some one is better equipped to to give you that experience you are looking for why should it matter what they are? I could sit here and go for days on the ways my mind is being blown right now, and all the things I question and explore. I love who I have become and not only do I have my wife to thank for that but all the people that have guided me along as well.
*He wrote this reflection to me a couple of months ago, and I kept it (as I do all his rare writings). When I saw the Christmas Erotic Prompt song of All I Want for Christmas is You, this is what I thought and how that has evolved and changed in my own marriage.