In the world of digital romance and online dating sites, the way the game is played is quite different than it used to be. Much like how we’re all looking for the newest, spiffiest gadget or car, online dating has brought that sense of impatience and always looking for the next big thing, into our love lives.
First dates used to be exciting. Sure there was nervousness, but before online dating, you used to know a bit more about who you were going on a date with, and unless it was a blind date, you already had one crucial question answered: if you were even attracted to the person.
Now the first date is all about interview. You assess chemistry, questions are asked to judge compatibility… every first date is the same, no matter how different the plans might be. The enjoyment of being on a first date is gone. Many first dates never go on to be second dates, even if you thought the first date went well and they seemed interested. It’s the nature the beast now.
Even if there isn’t chemistry, I’ve (luckily) never had a truly bad date. I’m social and outgoing, so I can carry a date if I need to. However, it gets exhausting sometimes, and it’s easy to get burnt out and need a break.
Its at this point that I start blowing off dates. I simply can’t keep up with it. Imagine going to 4-5 job interviews a week? Yeah, no thanks!
I have way more success finding dates though more conventional means. I already know if they make my temperature rise, I already, for the most part, know the answers to the basic questions about that person. These are dates that I actually get to enjoy spending time with someone and getting to know them better.
If you want my advice: get away from your app and go find places to meet new people. Join a hobby group, go to clubs with social atmospheres. Even other forms of online social interactions are far more successful. I’ve met boyfriends through video games, I meet people through fetlife. At least with these mediums you’re interacting with people with similar interests.
So put away your dating resume, and just start having a good time.