Jan 272015

Bringing Up the Past

someecard past lovers

1. What is the nickname a lover had for you that made you cringe?

Longbottom. He was making fun of my lack of ass, and he had so many jokes about it, it’s a wonder I never slapped him. It’s not a great ass, but it wasn’t as horrific as he constantly made it out to be. Longbottom stuck the most. 

2. Where do you most often toss or keep your excess change (coins)?

In a change purse in my actual purse. If I’m carrying my purse, it goes in my jean pockets until I get home to my purse. I’m pretty damn organized that way.

3. If someone wrote a book about your past lovers and past sex life, which category fits best:
a. Abnormal psychology book
b. Steamy romance novel
c. Sad sad story

Most of my partners in the past have been abnormal, more than a few arrested or institutionalized – so that alone makes the choice (A). Compounded with it has always been a challenge for me to find a partner that can keep up with my drive, and very few have sparked off on my desire for kink. Additionally, I also was looked down upon and judged because my drive is so high, and was constantly trying to fight against myself once I realized my partner disapproved. It hasn’t been until my husband that I’ve fully embraced all parts of me and found a peaceful way to accept who I am (most of the time).

4. Some say sex is like driving. Pretend you are a car. Are you: rear, front or all-wheel drive?

All-wheel, if I’m understanding this analogy right. I’m a bit of a switch on a rare mood, loved being on top (and still do when my torn hip cooperates), and adore doggy style. Missionary has never bored me either.

If we’re speaking front side or back side between my legs, then I don’t do anal, and don’t care for clitoral stimulation. 

Yeah, not sure on the analogy: if I were driving the car I’d get it more, but I am the damn car. 

5. What is it that you do daily that you would like to stop doing?

Being addicted to chapstick – I can’t go more than an hour without it, and that’s only if I’ve forgotten it and need to run to a store (yes, I’ve even left work to go purchase chapstick – fortunately, I keep a spare in my car most of the time). And waking up in the middle of the night – I’d love to just sleep right through it. And being a morning person – 4 am is just ridiculous to have that amount of energy and so is going to bed at 8  pm (20:00) even when I was a teenager. I’m also developing this annoying habit of putting my hair between my lips (though it doesn’t touch the inside of my mouth so it doesn’t come away all covered in saliva) – I think it’s because I have an oral fixation and I no longer smoke nor bite my nails.

6. What is the biggest lie you ever told to get someone into bed or the biggest lie you ever told in bed?

Faking orgasms is a pretty big lie – and one I try not to duplicate like I used to. Sometimes it’s not them-it’s me, and I just want to be done. For the most part, I try to be honest if it sucks – but gently honest.

Bonus: If married, who was interested in marriage first, you or your spouse?

Neither? Honestly, I have no idea. We both weren’t very keen on marriage, but being military and traveling so much pretty much was the nail in that coffin. We didn’t want to separate – it’s why I keep renewing my (what I consider yearly) wedding contract (he hates when I verbally confirm my agreeing to another year – I’m not an easy person to be married to, I’ve been told). 

To be fair – it was probably him, though. He’s more sentimental and old-fashioned; he’s an amazing man who never questions his commitment to me. When I grow up, I want to be more like him because he is about the coolest individual I know. 


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 Posted by at 3:24 pm

  One Response to “TMI: Abnormal Addiction to Things in my Mouth”

  1. Fun and interesting answers, and yeah, i didn’t get the car anaolgy either.
    A little surprised at the “and don’t care for clitoral stimulation” answer, but to each her own.

    have a great weekend!

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