Jan 102018
 

Wicked WednesdayTackling the Wicked Wednesday questions: I am not still talking to my ex. Every so often we still have to text each other for managing a few things still, but that’s far and few in between. I am not having sex with him. I can’t even be friends with him – which is an oddity for me, but the emotions for him were far too strong on my end and became far too toxic once we began to separate between the two of us. He was a big part of a lot of changes that I am still being affected by, so he is often on my mind. I am absolutely positive I don’t want to see him in any shape or fashion. I’ve also learned that with time and distance that I would never want to get back with him.

That being said: he wasn’t a bad guy (excusing the brief periods of reconciliation where he was a total jerk). Our marriage was wonderful in so many ways. I don’t wish him ill; I just don’t want him back.

Waaay back when I was married, I would ask my ex-husband the TMI questions on long road trips; I used to record his answers. So since I have them actually on the blog, and he’s already given permission to post this, here they are: 

You are interviewing someone to be your lover, what are the 3 most important questions you will ask?

Will I get sex when I want it?

What three things do you expect from a relationship with a lover/spouse?

Love, love, and love.

What three things do you expect from a relationship with your child?

To love me, to love them, and to be a pain in the ass

How do you mend a broken heart?

With love, love solves all things

What is your favorite therapy (remedial treatment of mental or bodily disorder)?

Destroying stuff is pretty effective

Who in your life has an annoying habit? How do you deal with this?

My wife is ditsy and I love her anyways

In five words, describe yourself. You cannot use the following words: funny, fun, nice, kind, responsible.

Calm, awesome, caring (I forgot what he said for the other two, so I’ll insert: unmotivated and creative)

If in a long time, romantic relationship do you still flirt? How do you flirt with your significant other?

Yes, we still flirt all the time. And I don’t know how I flirt with her because I’m a crappy husband that way.

Who has been the biggest influence in your life?

My wife, she has certainly influenced my life the most.

What kinds of things really make you laugh?

Stupid humor and all the sick shit that I probably shouldn’t laugh at.

What’s your favorite place in the entire world?

Wherever I’m at. I’m pretty content wherever I am.

Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?

My wife; she’s pretty awesome.

What’s your biggest goal in life right now?

To not be a failure. (I complained how vague this was, and how he needs attainable goals. He said it boxes him in, and then once he achieves them he has to think of new ones and he’s too lazy for that.)

What was your family like growing up?

Standard, okay, military family

Some things get better with age, have you? What specifically has gotten better?

Yes, I’m more awesome. I don’t know why.

Are you above average or below average?

Above average.

What was the last romantic act you did for someone? Did they appreciate it?

I don’t know because I’m a shitty husband.

Think back to your very last argument, whose fault was it?

Probably mine. I’m pretty certain it was my fault.

What day of the week do you have sex most often?

I don’t know. I have sex every day of the week.

Do you use kissing as an important way to test out a new mate?

I don’t know, I don’t have the experience in this. But yes, kissing is very important.

7. What do you expect from marriage?
a. safety and solidarity and security
b. a journey towards self-fulfillment and self-actualization with a partner that ‘gets’ you

I have both in my marriage.

8. Acts of love & kindness. Which would mean more to you:
a. Taking your partner a cup of tea in bed (or receiving that cup of tea)
b. Giving or receiving a box of chocolates or flowers

a. Taking your partner a cup of tea in bed (or receiving that cup of tea)

What are some challenges related to your sex life?

My wife wants it a lot more than I do.

Is quality or quantity most important?

My wife tells me both are equally important.

How much sex is enough?

Once a week. But it’s in my contract for two times per day.

 

 Posted by at 2:13 pm

  3 Responses to “TMIs: Husband’s Edition”

  1. I believe he did love you, until his mind wandered to the other woman and he might still love you, but it’s good that you are clear on not wanting him back. He has caused you a lot of hurt and then it’s better to move on. Hugs to you!

    Rebel xox

  2. I have an ex where the end was toxic too – took me many years to feel anything other than bitterness towards him – You asked great questions!

  3. Clear boundaries when a relationship ends is important. Especially when it wasn’t good for either of you.

 Leave a Reply

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>